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baka-kun
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16 Mar 2012, 3:09 am

hey im mike, im a 20 year old cook living in albuquerque, nm. i was diagnosed with aspergers last year, and after reading an article on this site i started thinking about how i live my life.
i always knew i wasnt like the people around me and until i starting getting older i liked it that way, but i was only on my own. i have friends now, a life, and those close to me know how i am to a degree, but the act, the facade of normalcy is truly exhausting.
a few month ago i met a girl, an aspie like me. we hit it off, but she saw right through me... it was nice to be actually seen, but in her eyes im a fake, and try as i might i cant seem to shake the act. i find myself stuck in between these two world and i dont really fit in either.

im not quite sure why im posting this but anyone else feel like this?



BMctav
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16 Mar 2012, 7:17 am

baka-kun wrote:
it was nice to be actually seen, but in her eyes im a fake, and try as i might i cant seem to shake the act. i find myself stuck in between these two world and i dont really fit in either.

im not quite sure why im posting this but anyone else feel like this?


It's cool to have someone that can relate to you, but I don't see why she should consider you a "fake". Everyone puts on mask in public and tries to get by as well as they can. It's obviously more draining for someone with AS than for most NTs (generally), but if you muddle through as best you can in a way that works for you, then that's a good thing.

You may feel that your are stuck between two worlds, but I think most people feel this way (AS and NT). You should be a bit easier on yourself and also proud of what you've accomplished. Despite the challenges you face with AS, you've managed to make friends and have a life, something which is difficult for AS and NT alike to do. I guarentee that some people look at you with envy and wish they could fit in to the world as well as you.

I think this quote is apt:

"The funny thing is, nobody really ever knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn’t even know."



MisterSpock
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16 Mar 2012, 10:03 am

I find myself acting often, and I too find it exhausting. My biggest hope is that I can find someone I don't have to act around. If you can find that person, then perhaps the act you put on around other people will be easier, knowing that somebody knows the person behind the act.



baka-kun
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16 Mar 2012, 3:43 pm

Thing is i cant seem to turn off the act anymore



nat4200
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16 Mar 2012, 8:04 pm

Redacted



Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

baka-kun
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17 Mar 2012, 12:49 am

Thing is i cant seem to turn off the act anymore



baka-kun
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17 Mar 2012, 1:38 am

Thing is i cant seem to turn off the act anymore



nat4200
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17 Mar 2012, 1:51 am

Redacted



Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

baka-kun
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17 Mar 2012, 3:54 am

Thing is i cant seem to turn off the act anymore



nat4200
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17 Mar 2012, 4:55 am

Redacted



Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

aspi-rant
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17 Mar 2012, 5:00 am

some pretend to be normal… others pretend to be aspie… and some are just what they are.