Will counselling or theraphy help??

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since i have poor social skills

will counselling or theraphy help me or will just being on this forum and
reading help me?

I think a therapy would help more than an internet forum in social skills. That way you have practice in speaking with a real person

ok. but i have to search for a real good person who can understand me and guide me.

I learned by having some friends who pushed me and coached me and corrected my mistakes. It was difficult but it worked.

You could call around to some counselors and find out if they do something like that. Also, down here we have these glorified charm schools that teach that stuff. Charm schools aren't in existence anymore really, but there are also private coaches that debutantes use, etc. In the US you could call the Junior League and get the name and number of someone who does that coaching.

The glorified charm schools are usually listed as modeling school. I went to one. It was called Barbizon School of Modeling. Usually you can find one in a decent sized city or in the back of a magazine like Cosmo or Glamour. They do teach makeup and modeling stuff, but it's more about every day situations and poise and how to talk to people, etc.

You could try finding a personal coach to help you, or you could just get friends to help. Good luck! It's hard at first but once you get the hang of it and stop being afraid of mistakes its much easier. Not being afraid of mistakes is actually the biggest part.

my husband took appointment of a psychologist who uses REBT for psychotheraphy she is trained from Albert Ellis Institute New York she didnt actually go there to train she got trained under some person who has done that course from that institute here only in india....
but her articles come regularly in newspapers so i think she could help me

Very cool! Let me know how it goes. I'd offer to help you learn and practice just general conversation by talking on the phone with you if you wanted, but my phone minutes cost and are never free. My mother's package has unlimited minutes per month and if you wanted, I could give you that number and we could set up a time to talk. My daughter's phone has free minutes between 7pm and 7am here, but I don't know what time that is where you are.

If you want to do something like that, let me know and I'd be happy to. We could just make small talk or talk about whatever you want to talk about, and you wouldn't have to worry about making a mistake or anything, as I don't laugh at people for that and I'm very hard to offend and I do understand not understanding the social rules because I've had to have them explained to me so very many times. I'd probably ask you a lot of questions about what life in India is like. India was one of my special interests when I was a child and teenager. I've always wanted to wear a sari but I think I'd look stupid in it.

We could also share recipes. I'd love to learn to cook Indian food and I'd be happy to tell you how to cook any of the American food I cook, or the Southern food from the Deep South, or the Italian food.

We could also just PM for a while if you wanted, if you need to learn that type of conversation too. I'm no expert but I can always find things to talk about and I'm usually always up for talking about whatever somebody else wants to talk about.

I think that while books can be helpful and forums can allow you to connect in a controlled environment, therapy would be very beneficial. It is a safe place to practise one on one interaction and the therapist could give you many coping strategies. Also, it provides you with an impartial, informed source of support should you require it.

thank you for your offer of help.

i will be meeting this therapist on monday and lets see where it leads to.

i will get back to you after that......

hope it would be safe and impartial place for me and i get support from there

It didn't help me...I remember when I was in therapy in highschool I tried asking the therapist to help me with social skills a little. But the only thing he was willing to suggest was 'well when you're in the lunch room just picture yourself walking up to people and asking to sit with them' well what he refused to understand was that's just it I do think about it and then I can't do it. I mean I have never been able to walk up to someone I don't know(outside of certain contexts) and start talking to them. No amount of visualizing helps.

But I learned on my own since I can do that in some contexts, I can put myself in situations within those contexts in attempt to interact with people.....why the counselor did not suggest to me I use that to my advantage, rather then trying to push myself beyond my capabilities I don't know.

ok was that the only counsellor you met?
did you try to change the counsellor and shop for someone who suited your needs??

Well no I went to others, but that did not help with social interaction either....whatever I guess therapy just doesn't help everyone, I feel misunderstood even by therapists. But yeah I don't know maybe I'll try it again someday not any time soon though as it hasn't ever really helped and I probably can't afford it.

ok then probably it really doesnt work at all..........its some hogwash

Therapy never worked for me, because I have such a hard time verbalizing my problems in a way to make the therapist understand what I need. I do much better just writing my problems out, because I have a miserable short in the brain to mouth connection. For learning social skills, the therapist would have to be aware of the differences between garden variety shyness vs autism.
I know people are expecting a certain response from me sometimes, but what I should do is just a blank wall for me. It makes me sad, because if I could see past that wall I might have some friends.

ya even i have difficulty expressing my thoughts but once i had gone for counselling it helped me lot and i started connecting lot of things plus i gained confidence.