My one friend

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My friend visited me today. It was nice. We each had glasses of wine and ate my home made shortbread that I made because I knew she was coming, while watching English comedies on telly. It was very nice.

My fried is kind and lovely.

The problem is, this friend seems to have a lot of fruit loops for friends, obviously including me. I think I am just one of her nutbar chums.

It makes me feel as if I am one of a collection of her freaky friends.

She is very popular and friendly, the opposite to me.

Am I just the freak for a certain jar do you think?

I wouldn't worry about that - if you enjoy spending time with her and she with you - take it for what it is and have a nice time.

Yeah, I get what you're saying. You want to know if your friend takes you seriously as a peer or considers you, for lack of a better word, lesser in some way. It's not the kind of thing you can just ask someone, "Hey, do you respect me as an adult or just let me hang out with you cause I say funny things sometimes?" For my part, if I thought someone didn't respect me as well as like me, then I could not be his friend, just as I will not be friends with someone I don't respect.

So how do you find out which category you're in? Hard to say, but does she ever ASK you for advice, rather than just give it? Does she introduce you to her other friends without hesitation? Would she trust you with something valuable of hers rather than inconvenience herself in some way (like letting you use her car to go to the store for her)? Things like these can tell the difference between someones peer and something more akin to an adult/child relationship. And I may be a lot of things to a lot of people, but I'm no kid.

My best friend lives 2000km away. We talk on the phone and email a lot. I think the reason our friendship has lasted is due to the distance. Her husband never liked me (the feeling is mutual) and she has two kids under 10. I've known her since we were 10 yrs old, but now we don't have much in common. She's always asking my (blunt, rational and honest) opinion on things because she says that my way of seeing things is unique and insightful. So I'm not a freak in a jar....I'm more like her exceptionally helpful magic 8ball/dictionary/thesaurus.

many of my friends dump me after they finished using me..........till the time they need me around they are kind to me.......
so its quite inevitable that they are using me

Same thing every time, if I get to know someone at work, they're the ones who find other jobs and we lose touch. Or if I do start hanging out with them, we no longer click. This is ALWAYS the case with women. Men just ignore me, except for one. We've know each other for over a decade now. He, my sis, my brother-in-law and me used to hang out frequently, and we've stayed in touch. I do believe since he has no libido he's the only man that will ever want to be around me on a regular basis.

I've noticed that people I become friendly with at school are sometimes like that. I think it's because I'm almost completely introverted, so I only really talk to people who talk to me first, which basically means people far more outgoing than I am.

My theory is that the more introverted you are, the more likely it is that the people you meet and get to know will be extroverted. This implies that extrovert-introvert friendships are in a way both logical and natural, although ideally they would not be the only ones a person has.

I've worried about that before, and I decided that if I was just a novelty toy, they wouldn't waste the time of inviting me to spend time alone with them.

Get to know your feelings. If she is treating you as a charm on her charm bracelet, you might be able to pick up feelings in yourself that something doesn't feel right. If you don't get those feelings from spending time directly with her, versus analyzing and comparing yourself to her other friends (which, by the way, really isn't a good thing to be doing in general), then she's probably honestly interested in you as a friend.

And don't let your mind try to create those feelings. Our minds can do that if we let them. Don't assume that she is doing that and then go looking for feelings to confirm a passing thought. Instead, just interact with her as you always do, unassuming, and decide if she's being genuine.

From the outside looking in, it does sound a little..... yeah.

I hate to say this, but in these instances, my suspicions always turned out to be true. Enjoy it, but listen to your feelings.