Outgoing but afraid of annoying people

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So yeah, this is my main issue socially. I think I'm naturally pretty outgoing. Even as a little kid, I had almost no fear talking to strangers. The rest of my family, while NT (except my sister with spinabifida, who's got brain damage going on that to a point acts a bit like ASD) is actually much more socially reserved than me, and much less outgoing. So social anxiety per se isn't the problem, and many times the advice I get is "oh just talk to people more and it'll be great." And then I do, and I run into this problem. The problem is like, when in conversations or whatever I tend to sort of just ramble on about my special interests or something to that effect. So, I go through extremes where I'll be really outgoing and think sorta everything is right in the world, and then later people will cold shoulder me, or someone else will be like "so _____ thinks you're annoying." So when I'm outgoing, I get the impressions people don't like me, or at the very least think I'm weird, something is off, etc.

So then, since I've gotten social rejection, I just go "well screw it, I'm not gonna talk to anyone then, since nobody seems to like me." But the problem with that is, then people think I'm weird, as I'm quiet, and then in school specifically this caused me problems, as I was quiet, and it gave people bad impressions about me, ie, in the "he's gonna shoot up the school" kinda way. I really do not like being perceived like that, so in recent years, I've tried to be more outgoing regardless, just to not be thought of like that, but the problem is, I still don't think people really like me, and wanna talk to me.

Some of my friends have just told me "Yeah, so people won't think you're weird, if you don't think you're weird." The whole like "Get more confidence!" kinda thing. The problem with that logic is, I go through phases where I don't think I'm weird, and in my own mind, seem to be doing socially well with people, but then my social errors or weirdness get pointed out, so that means I'm still weird, despite doing that. I mean I see the point of such advice, positive self image does help, but I don't believe it's completely as simple as just telling yourself something and it becoming true because you believe it.

So anyone else go through similar kinda things? It seems like I'm "weird" if I talk to people, and then "freaky" if I don't. What's the solution to this problem?

I'm autistic for f**k sake. You're asking for SOCIAL aid on a Forum for people with Autism. Jesus christ dude. Expect a lot of sh***y advice. :'P

On the subject at hand:
You should stop letting other people's opinion of you shape your reality.
Fact is... You're weird. You need to come to terms with your own incongruence in the social realm, and understand the implications of this. You can still evolve. You are capable of learning the variety of nuances in social dynamics, and if you cannot mold yourself to the expectations of those around you... Chances are that you'll be stampled as 'different'.

Is this a bad thing? Depends.

On the other hand, it is NATURAL to be afraid of REJECTION. When you talk to others, you put your personality on the line. Well, suck it up and stop being a b***h. What's the big deal? X and Y doesn't like you? Well, don't socialize with them? But, but, but... What if you ENJOY being with X and Y? Well, have fun with them and enjoy yourself. If they don't want to socialize with you, they'll leave you be.

Edit:
Have I gone through the same?
Yes, I have. I always do. It's easy to meet and befriend new people, but keeping them close is harder. It helps me collect the 'pearls' of humanity, though. (Which is pretty sweet, lol). Those I enjoy being with, usually find my company quite fine. So it works out.

This is about you, though.

So you can quiet (and freaky) and lose the opportunities to learn from social interaction or you can be friendly (and weird) but make contacts and have the opportunity to learn and improve your skills? Seems you have nothing to lose by being friendly.

When people point out your social errors, that's a learning point. I know, not a pleasant or comfortable one but an opportunity all the same, that you wouldn't have got by being quiet.

I have appreciated it when an Aspie friend has 'checked' during or just after a conversation/interaction whether everything is ok. Once I was annoyed by something he'd done, but let it go. He sensed SOMETHING wasn't right even if he didn't know what, and asked if I was doing ok. So that gave me permission to tell him. Friends don't usually point out every little thing you do 'wrong', but too many and they cold shoulder you.

And at least weird and freaky isn't boring. Boring is so much worse. Some people can make weird work well for them, can be funny and entertaining.

I'm sort of where you are. I've been socially isolated IRL for years for a number of reasons and now I'm getting out and about with people.

Things I've learned:

1) You can't monitor everything you do all the time. You're going to make mistakes. You're just going to have to roll with them. Most people don't remember individual things you do that well anyway, unless there's some big negative emotion attached to them.

2)Be positive. It sounds like you have this one covered. People can put up with many (not all, but many) faux pas if your intent is positive. NTs are big on intent.

3) Find someone you can trust and who will listen to you without judgement to talk over you social difficulties with. This is the first time in my life I've had a really good therapist, and that makes a great deal of difference.

4) You're not going to get along with everybody. As for myself, I'd love to get along with everyone and I will give people the benefit of the doubt. However, if they don't enjoy your company or especially if they start acting negatively towards you, find somebody else. Eventually you'll find someone or maybe more than one you will click with. I'm lucky to have two really good RL friends even at the time people generally considered me not bothering with.

Remember, you are who you strive to be, not what anyone else decides you are. If you like yourself and others, you will eventually find people who like you.