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Reasons why they behaved this way towards me?

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Jamesy
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28 May 2012, 11:19 am

Last thursday night i was bored so i texted my one of my friends. he replied back too me by text saying "Yea come too the pub". i got my dad too give me a lift too the pub. when i walked up too my friends (there were 4 of them who were sitting outside) they were not as friendly as usual when greeting me. immediatly when i sat down and started chatting too my mates i thought too myself "oh great my friends are going too behave indifferently towards me tonight" and heck even the people working behind the bar were not very friendly too me.. the last time i saw my friends before this outing with them they were treating me quite well. one of my friends asked me too buy him a beer because he gave me a lift last time we met up and he still gave me a little bit of an attitude even after buying him a beer.

here a few reasons why i think they might have immediatly been annoyed with me that evening

they were all wearing shorts wheareas i was wearing trousers and a lumberjack t shirt
i do volunteer work whereas MOST of my friends with the exception of 1 work full time
they have too give me lifts a lot so maybe there annoyed that i don't drive?
i was behaving more annoying/weirder than usual that evening without realising it? (most likely scenario) this would also be suppourted by the fact that my farther was not overly friends too me either that evening before i went out
i was in a manic rush too get out and did argue with my dad and brother before i got a lift too the pub


Why do you think my friends might have been behaving this way towards me? Do you think maybe by the fact that they did not text me too say they were going out meant that they did not really want too hang out with me that evening? of course there are other times when my friends have been approving and friendly too me.

Ps i am on the autistic spectrum



Venger
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28 May 2012, 11:36 am

Your friends were probably drunk.



Silvervarg
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28 May 2012, 11:49 am

Venger wrote:
Your friends were probably drunk.

*Points* That one.
Try to avoid reading into things that has only happened once (if this is once), do you know why they where at the pub?


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Jamesy
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28 May 2012, 11:54 am

Yeah actually thats a good point.... although one of them wasn't drunk since he had too drive



Lene
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28 May 2012, 12:24 pm

Venger is probably correct; they acted differently because they were drunk.

Just to go through the points though...

Jamesy wrote:
here a few reasons why i think they might have immediatly been annoyed with me that evening
they were all wearing shorts wheareas i was wearing trousers and a lumberjack t shirt

might look a little strange, but nobody really cares what others wear to the bar (unless its a date)

Quote:
i do volunteer work whereas MOST of my friends with the exception of 1 work full time

often people go drinking to blow off steam about work, so you might have been left a bit out in the cold if that was the case. But otherwise, can't see it being an issue.

Quote:
they have too give me lifts a lot so maybe there annoyed that i don't drive?

it is very annoying unless you pay for gas once in a while, or buy them a drink in return. The fact that your friend had to ask you to maybe suggests that you need to offer a bit more.

Quote:
i was in a manic rush too get out and did argue with my dad and brother before i got a lift too the pub

they won't be able to tell that

Quote:
Why do you think my friends might have been behaving this way towards me? Do you think maybe by the fact that they did not text me too say they were going out meant that they did not really want too hang out with me that evening?


maybe. do you normally go out drinking with them? if not, it might not have occurred to them you might want to come. If you enjoyed it, let them know so they'll be more inclined to invite you next time.



TheSunAlsoRises
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28 May 2012, 2:22 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Last thursday night i was bored so i texted my one of my friends. he replied back too me by text saying "Yea come too the pub". i got my dad too give me a lift too the pub. when i walked up too my friends (there were 4 of them who were sitting outside) they were not as friendly as usual when greeting me. immediatly when i sat down and started chatting too my mates i thought too myself "oh great my friends are going too behave indifferently towards me tonight" and heck even the people working behind the bar were not very friendly too me.. the last time i saw my friends before this outing with them they were treating me quite well. one of my friends asked me too buy him a beer because he gave me a lift last time we met up and he still gave me a little bit of an attitude even after buying him a beer.

here a few reasons why i think they might have immediatly been annoyed with me that evening

they were all wearing shorts wheareas i was wearing trousers and a lumberjack t shirt
i do volunteer work whereas MOST of my friends with the exception of 1 work full time
they have too give me lifts a lot so maybe there annoyed that i don't drive?
i was behaving more annoying/weirder than usual that evening without realising it? (most likely scenario) this would also be suppourted by the fact that my farther was not overly friends too me either that evening before i went out
i was in a manic rush too get out and did argue with my dad and brother before i got a lift too the pub


Why do you think my friends might have been behaving this way towards me? Do you think maybe by the fact that they did not text me too say they were going out meant that they did not really want too hang out with me that evening? of course there are other times when my friends have been approving and friendly too me.

Ps i am on the autistic spectrum


I can tell by your post that you thought about this carefully. Also, I think you might want some verification to what you already suspect.

The second question ---asked in your post might have some validity BUT it's not necessarily a cause for concern. Some-times, people make plans THAT do not always include all their friends. Having said THAT, the reasons THAT you listed may have had something to do with 'why' you were not invited to the pub. I suspect....your conclusions are correct.




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Jamesy
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28 May 2012, 2:43 pm

by the way they only arrived at the pub 15 minatues before i showed up so i doubt they would have got drunk in that time

also it never occurred too me that giving lifts pisses people off that much :?



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28 May 2012, 3:35 pm

They might have been buzzed a bit but not really drunk obviously. Sometimes people feel like they're being "your b***h" if they keep giving you rides repeatedly. lol



thewhitrbbit
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03 Jun 2012, 11:31 pm

I doubt your clothes and job had anything to do with it.

Quote:
i was behaving more annoying/weirder than usual that evening without realising it? (most likely scenario) this would also be suppourted by the fact that my farther was not overly friends too me either that evening before i went out


Maybe that was it?

As for the lifts thing:

Remember that your constantly consuming someone else's time and gas. Friendship is often described to me as a two way street. Offer to buy him some gas or beers more often without him asking you to. Don't let him use you to pay his bar tab, but keep in mind he is using his time and money. I often give my friend's rides. I do it because I enjoy the company, but if I want to cut loose, I don't want to be the driver or be responsible for others.