Needy NT friends!

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I wouldn't call myself a social butterfly, however I do enjoy socializing from time to time. I have made some new friends through my college classes. They are genuinely nice people, but one of them is always feeling sorry for themselves and always wants to tell me about how they are depressed. I know depression is a serious disorder, but I feel more like this persons therapist than a friend.

Needless to say, hanging out with them is draining. I am not an emotional guy so I always just feel awkward whenever he starts wallowing in self pity, expecting me to have advice. At least 85% of the time we hang out, he complains about depression. It's to the point now where I dread any phone calls or texts from him, and have regularly started ignoring his calls. This guy calls me all the time wanting to hang out, and tries to guilt trip me into meeting up. My other friends are very low maintenance, maybe calling once a week (some of them are diagnosed with AS too) and that is the type of friendship I prefer.

How can I get this person to talk about something besides themselves? I'm not depressed at all so I have no idea what hes going through. How can I politely tell this person that I don't know how they feel? Frankly, I'm tired of this person smothering me and treating me like a therapist!

If someone is very depressed it can poison all their interactions. When a person feels so unwell, it is like being in a big, black hole and all you can see are the high walls andno means of escape. You can't imagine every feeling any better, and all interest and joy can just fade from your life. It's a horrible illness to have, I know because I've been there. It may be that if your friend was well he would be a great guy and fun to be around.

I think you need to tell him that you are concerned about his depression. You can tell him that you don't know what to say or do and suggest he speaks to a doctor (or his parents if he lives at home). I know this whole thing must be miserable and frustrating for you, I'm terrible with neediness too. I've been very depressed but I tried to hide it from other people as much as possible. I would have been mortified if I thought I was making other people feel awkward. It isn't fair for him to be treating you like a therapist. If he is very depressed he needs to see a professional.

In the time i posted this thread, I have already received 2 text messages from him asking me to hang out.


I think I need to break the news to him. I don't want to sound cold, but I just have no interest in his emotional problems, since I never mention mine. He seems like a clingy girlfriend sometimes! He has told me hes on meds for his problems and is getting help supposedly. I may be able to put up with him once a week maybe, but several times a week is too much. This friendship is draining and seems almost pointless at this point. I prefer to be alone most of the time anyways, and this is starting to become a chore to me.

I would tell him that I am there for him if he needs me, but I can't be there for him every day every week. If he truely needs someone that often, he should seek professional help. I have had to tell friends to text me if I don't answer the phone, and if I don't answer the text, don't text me again the same day. I can't always explain to them that today is not a good day, I can't always come up with excuses. Some days are good, some are bad, on a bad day I am really not capable of explaining myself to anyone. When I have a bad day, I let my friends know by not replying, and they have learned to accept that. If it's a matter of urgency, they can tell me in a text and then keep calling, and I will know what the matter is, and I would be more likely to pick up the phone(it should be said, I truely hate answering phones from anyone other than my mother and my wife these days).

This is just my way of teaching friends how to get in touch with me, if they don't follow said protocol, it's less likely to get a hold of me. Perhaps you could apply some of those methods to your situation, only abit less extreme.