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unduki
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21 Jun 2012, 8:57 pm

I'm in a unique position as a planning commissioner for my city. I work with a variety of NT's on a regular basis. I think the reason I do so well is that there are strict rules (The Brown Act) involved with basic government operation. Since I analyze and categorize everything (to me, life is more like a bowl of M&M's), I've decided a lot of my problems or successes stem from the social abilities of NT's.

The City Staff are all highly intelligent people who operate in a consistent manner and are trained to deal with people. I've gotten to know a few of them well over the last two decades. Several are aware of my autism, as well as my epilepsy, but most probably wouldn't guess I was anything more than eccentric - because it's easier to fake NT-ness in such a consistent environment, if I have to fake it at all.

Then there's the politicians. (Technically, this is what I am, now.) They change every few years. I generally avoid them other than to express my thoughts on City business. They are users and abusers of the worst kind with very few exceptions, but they get stuff done. Regardless, this is where I use the Brown Act like a shield.

The Public is my most difficult group of NT's. They're mostly strangers and don't understand how the System works, which is ok; there is definitely a learning curve, but I've had a few difficulties where my statements were misunderstood. People get so offended; especially when you ask a question that they're embarrassed or ashamed to answer truthfully. They take my question as condemnation when it's really just a question.

But, not all of the Public get bent out of shape at me. To me it seems the more intelligent a person is has a lot to do with how they'll approach me, however, it was brought up in another post that an NT's level of maturity is the thing.

I naturally dismissed it out of hand because I already know everything and no one else can..., but then, as usual, I chewed on it awhile and resorted my M&M's and must concede that maturity level has much to do with a person's reaction to another. But as I further analyzed my experiences with the City, adjusting for maturity, I realized that another difference would be how a person was raised and formally trained.

People have no manners anymore. Manners teach us to think about others. If no one is taught manners, NT or otherwise, then they tend to just focus on themselves and what they want. Without training, our social abilities are that of cave people.

I'm tired of feeling like it's my fault people don't get me so maybe I'm trying to rationalize my way through it. I suppose I just have to accept that I can't control the world.


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Chronos
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21 Jun 2012, 9:40 pm

unduki wrote:
I'm in a unique position as a planning commissioner for my city. I work with a variety of NT's on a regular basis. I think the reason I do so well is that there are strict rules (The Brown Act) involved with basic government operation. Since I analyze and categorize everything (to me, life is more like a bowl of M&M's), I've decided a lot of my problems or successes stem from the social abilities of NT's.

The City Staff are all highly intelligent people who operate in a consistent manner and are trained to deal with people. I've gotten to know a few of them well over the last two decades. Several are aware of my autism, as well as my epilepsy, but most probably wouldn't guess I was anything more than eccentric - because it's easier to fake NT-ness in such a consistent environment, if I have to fake it at all.

Then there's the politicians. (Technically, this is what I am, now.) They change every few years. I generally avoid them other than to express my thoughts on City business. They are users and abusers of the worst kind with very few exceptions, but they get stuff done. Regardless, this is where I use the Brown Act like a shield.

The Public is my most difficult group of NT's. They're mostly strangers and don't understand how the System works, which is ok; there is definitely a learning curve, but I've had a few difficulties where my statements were misunderstood. People get so offended; especially when you ask a question that they're embarrassed or ashamed to answer truthfully. They take my question as condemnation when it's really just a question.

But, not all of the Public get bent out of shape at me. To me it seems the more intelligent a person is has a lot to do with how they'll approach me, however, it was brought up in another post that an NT's level of maturity is the thing.

I naturally dismissed it out of hand because I already know everything and no one else can..., but then, as usual, I chewed on it awhile and resorted my M&M's and must concede that maturity level has much to do with a person's reaction to another. But as I further analyzed my experiences with the City, adjusting for maturity, I realized that another difference would be how a person was raised and formally trained.

People have no manners anymore. Manners teach us to think about others. If no one is taught manners, NT or otherwise, then they tend to just focus on themselves and what they want. Without training, our social abilities are that of cave people.

I'm tired of feeling like it's my fault people don't get me so maybe I'm trying to rationalize my way through it. I suppose I just have to accept that I can't control the world.


What types of questions have you asked that others have taken offence to?

It seems NTs have a difficult time with honesty, even in situations in which one is not inferring something about the other person.

I've even seen doctors become uncomfortable on the subject of certain health conditions, when it's very obviously the doctor's job to address such things.



unduki
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21 Jun 2012, 11:30 pm

Chronos wrote:

What types of questions have you asked that others have taken offence to?

It seems NTs have a difficult time with honesty, even in situations in which one is not inferring something about the other person.

I've even seen doctors become uncomfortable on the subject of certain health conditions, when it's very obviously the doctor's job to address such things.




For example, we had a guy wanting a permit to run a moto-cross park. I asked him how much water he used in a given period of time for dust control. He hesitated and then turned red and angry-looking. He practically spit out his answer. (a million gallons per week) He had decided I would use the truth of his answer to discredit his request because he figured I didn't understand enough about what he has to go through to keep all the agencies happy. We live in a desert and he took me for a hippy-environmentalist when my main concern was dust control. I know all this because we talked later and he told me.

In this case, I would say he was a fairly mature and intelligent man; not a brain surgeon but he runs a fairly successful business. We've had no complaints on his operation. He just came to the meeting expecting opposition.

I agree NT's have trouble with the truth. Why do you think that is?


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unduki
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21 Jun 2012, 11:38 pm

You asked what type of questions but there's really not a type. It's all random. Sometimes, I wonder if an NT's frame of mind is such a way because there was a particularly sad episode of Glee on TV the night before...


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again_with_this
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22 Jun 2012, 12:54 am

unduki wrote:
I agree NT's have trouble with the truth. Why do you think that is?


Probably because they err on the side of caution (according to the rules of neurotypical land). Anything they say can and might be used against them by their fellow NTs.



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22 Jun 2012, 12:56 am

Anyway, OP, I'm not sure if I have Asperger's, but this post is brilliant.

I've had many scenarios where I was verbally attacked and berated because of a misunderstanding, and the NTs feel fully justified in this behavior. Even on-looking NTs don't seem to mind. It's like NT solidarity.

And I fully agree, the decline of manners and common courtesy in society is appalling.



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22 Jun 2012, 2:17 am

unduki wrote:

People have no manners anymore. Manners teach us to think about others. If no one is taught manners, NT or otherwise, then they tend to just focus on themselves and what they want. Without training, our social abilities are that of cave people.



Completely agree with you on this and i really wish parents would put more effort in teaching their children how to behave appropriately. Manners are as necessary as traffic rules, they are a useful concept that helps us to get along. However, i stem from another time and things are different today--not always beneficial.