The social abilities of NT's

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I'm in a unique position as a planning commissioner for my city. I work with a variety of NT's on a regular basis. I think the reason I do so well is that there are strict rules (The Brown Act) involved with basic government operation. Since I analyze and categorize everything (to me, life is more like a bowl of M&M's), I've decided a lot of my problems or successes stem from the social abilities of NT's.

The City Staff are all highly intelligent people who operate in a consistent manner and are trained to deal with people. I've gotten to know a few of them well over the last two decades. Several are aware of my autism, as well as my epilepsy, but most probably wouldn't guess I was anything more than eccentric - because it's easier to fake NT-ness in such a consistent environment, if I have to fake it at all.

Then there's the politicians. (Technically, this is what I am, now.) They change every few years. I generally avoid them other than to express my thoughts on City business. They are users and abusers of the worst kind with very few exceptions, but they get stuff done. Regardless, this is where I use the Brown Act like a shield.

The Public is my most difficult group of NT's. They're mostly strangers and don't understand how the System works, which is ok; there is definitely a learning curve, but I've had a few difficulties where my statements were misunderstood. People get so offended; especially when you ask a question that they're embarrassed or ashamed to answer truthfully. They take my question as condemnation when it's really just a question.

But, not all of the Public get bent out of shape at me. To me it seems the more intelligent a person is has a lot to do with how they'll approach me, however, it was brought up in another post that an NT's level of maturity is the thing.

I naturally dismissed it out of hand because I already know everything and no one else can..., but then, as usual, I chewed on it awhile and resorted my M&M's and must concede that maturity level has much to do with a person's reaction to another. But as I further analyzed my experiences with the City, adjusting for maturity, I realized that another difference would be how a person was raised and formally trained.

People have no manners anymore. Manners teach us to think about others. If no one is taught manners, NT or otherwise, then they tend to just focus on themselves and what they want. Without training, our social abilities are that of cave people.

I'm tired of feeling like it's my fault people don't get me so maybe I'm trying to rationalize my way through it. I suppose I just have to accept that I can't control the world.

You asked what type of questions but there's really not a type. It's all random. Sometimes, I wonder if an NT's frame of mind is such a way because there was a particularly sad episode of Glee on TV the night before...

Anyway, OP, I'm not sure if I have Asperger's, but this post is brilliant.

I've had many scenarios where I was verbally attacked and berated because of a misunderstanding, and the NTs feel fully justified in this behavior. Even on-looking NTs don't seem to mind. It's like NT solidarity.

And I fully agree, the decline of manners and common courtesy in society is appalling.