Gaps in my conversation skills

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Some quick background info. For some time I've been going to discussion meetings at a Bookstore on Tuesdays. For a while they were political and based around a Republican Candidate we were supporting. That candidate didn't make it through the Primary so that group gradually dissolved.

However, on Mondays the Bookstore owner started a Politics or Spirituality discussion group followed by drumming. I started going to that group to and enjoyed it including the drumming. Unfortunately the drumming stopped due to lack of interest. Spiritual discussion hasn't been common unless it's topical or somebody is annoyed with Fundamentalism. Although once or twice there has been brief contrasting between Western and Eastern religion and I thought that was interesting.

Moving forward the group dynamic and conversation has changed and so has my ability to fit into it. The political discussion is much more Progressive and I'm more of a moderate Libertarian. So, I keep figuring I can interject on issues we actually agree on such as the Wars overseas.

To the point: I'm finding my usual "Safe" conversation openings are not coming up and I'm taking on the role of Quiet Listener a lot more. I think previously I really relied on commented politics I had Common Ground with. Or at least taking it in a direction that was related so I might Segue off it in a smooth transition. It would be related to the topic and relevant.

I'm finding it hard to do with this group. The conversation rarely steers near things I have common ground with. Of course one thing I could do is voice an opposing view, but I would be the lone "Libertarian Dissenter Guy" and also I don't see that as a productive argument. Otherwise sometimes I can try asking a thoughtful question. So often though I don't find myself even doing that. I'm just not following the Progressive point of view and feel like I might as well be a foreigner sitting at the table. It's actually really weird how much the discussion situation has changed. I was talkative but the common ground has slipped away.

Another thing that occurs to me though in conversation would be the Heavy Handed Segue. A kind of hamfisted clumsy attempt to wrench the conversation into my own political sphere or comfort zone. This doesn't seem right to me. It seems so much like a classic Aspy thing to do by suddenly blurting out what is on my mind even though it has nothing to do with the conversation at the table. Besides that it's the recipe for what I think is not productive arguing over our political differences.

I'm not particularly upset by this but befuddled by it. I also see a positive side to this as a way I'm discovering I still have some limitations while in a friendly environment. They're nice people I'm just on a different wavelength or something.

After laying out the situation here is one thought I have. The group is supposedly both Politics and Spirituality, but unfortunately the group doesn't get into deep spiritual discussion much. Only on the surface as it may relate to politics.

So...... I have sometimes wondered if I should find a Spiritual/Religious topic and layout a bunch of printouts to unofficially offer a spiritual based discussion agenda. For example I'm interested in Buddhism.

Basically wondering if I ought to try a prepared strategy for the meeting before I get there by bringing interesting handouts.

Whatever NT sees himself as king of the group will feel you're challenging his status as top dog. The others in the group will look at it as a power struggle, as opposed to being open to sharing new ideas. It's funny, because you have no desire to dominate or be dominated, but remember, this is how NTs think.

I guess what it comes down to is I'm one person there with views in the minority. My desire is to somehow have meaningful discussion and exchange with another political ideology. I'm sort of Independent/Libertarian and they are Leftist/Green Party.

Admittedly, what I aim to do might not be easy even for NTs now that I think about it more. I've seen other people who share my views come in and directly butt heads on political philosophy arguing over Abortion for example. I saw nothing productive in that at all.

I'm thinking of an approach to try. Usually early on there is a quick question about how everyone is doing and I'll just mention how my college classes are going. Maybe next time I'm there I'll use that moment to offer comments on how coming there is a learning experience for me by being more exposed to their politics on things such as Single Payer Healthcare for example.

Just pay for a communication corse or ask someone to help you with it.

You could share a libertarian perspective. Democrats and libertarians share traits.

I am in a gun club and I am fairly liberal in a nest of far right conservatives. Find common ground.

Unless of course it's just a circle jerk session about how great Democrats are and there is no real debate possible.

I'm a moderate libertarian too! I'm also a feminist though ( not a stereotypical man-hating she male as portrayed on TV ). I know a lot of progressives are for women's rights though. If you're into anti-gun control stuff, you could say people, esp. women need guns to prevent crimes like rape. You could use certain progressive points of view like that to point out other ideas. Like, if you disagree with Obamacare, you could say that it hurts the lower middle class by taxing them for not buying insurance they cannot afford (progressives don't like taxes that hurt those who don't have a lot of money). If you're for a crack down on crime, you could use women's rights as an avenue for that as well ( there are few anti-stalking laws and penalties for crimes like stalking are not very effective or severe and most stalking victims are women). Hope this helps.