Relating to women in college and in the workforce...

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I am an individual with Asperger Syndrome, and may not have very good social skills, but I have poor social skills. I just lost a friend I met here on WP because I judged her about her political/religious beliefs. And in the past, I also have called women - let alone the female cousins in my dad's family - whores, sluts, and skanks. And if I get a job and/or go off to college, and I call a co-worker/fellow female classmate either one of those derogatory names, I could go to jail and have a sexual harrasment charge filed against me.
I also don't have appropriate topic skills. Again, I have lost a dear friend of mine because I offended her because I judged her of her religious/political beliefs. Today, my family and I went to the grocery store, and I had a wonderful conversation with the cashier about the nice day outside, and what it's supposed to be like this evening. I hardly ever get to socialize with any person - male or female - during the week since I stay at home and I'm not working or going to school. I was with Mental Health Support Services with my healthcare provider - Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare-Adult and Family Services - but I cancelled their services.

1. Don't call women derogatory names. It's quite simple: every time you find yourself thinking them, close your mouth and don't let any sounds out. Or change your attitude.

2. Don't bring up religion or politics unless you are already good friends with the person and know they won't be offended by debate on such issues.

Ok,so you may have poor social skills, but I'm sure you have a decent ability to learn stuff. A good thing to learn is to learn not to call women sluts, skanks, whores, or any other derogatory name (even though you believe that they deserve it). It brings nothing good, neither to you nor to any of the people around you. If you refrain from calling people bad names, suddenly your social skills will improve noticeably.

Well it's good that you want to change.

For one you have to get those terms out of your head. They're sexist and nasty. You have to look at a person as an individual and don't judge them. For example, just because a woman is wearing a short skirt doesn't mean she's a _______. It's almost like judging someone because they're on welfare or disability when you don't know the whole story. If a woman is acting in a certain way doesn't mean she's automatically a whatever _______. Maybe she didn't have a nice childhood.

The main point is try not to judge people because everybody is different. Everybody is free to be who they want to be regarding clothes and hobbies and even personality. Treat people like you'd want to be treated in return. Treat everybody as an individual and give them a chance because you don't know their story.

Did you call them those names in sort of a matter-of-fact manner, or was it deliberately to degrade them?

If it's the latter, then you probably know what you're doing wrong. If it's the former, remember, the average NT woman is not an intellectual by any means and will take offense to her shortcomings being pointed out, even if it's with the best intentions.

1. Treat all women the way you would like and expect your mother or sister to be treated. Calling women derogatory names is never a good idea even if those people make you angry.

2. Some topics are best avoided until you know someone very well. Questions about someone's religion, politics, income or number of sexual partners should not be asked.

I used to think that for me to be friends with someone we would have to share political and religious views, but I've learned to be a bit more tolerant. I've realised that most people are decent people who want to make the world a better place but they might have very different ideas from me on how to go about doing that. Obviously if someone has extremist views (a fondness for Hitler or Al Qaeda, for example) then they should be avoided at all costs. Perhaps you could apologise to your friend on WP and agree to avoid those subjects in the future and focus on all the things you do agree on.

If you go around judging everyone you meet to their face, then you will never make any friends. The basic rule here is elementary: treat others the way you want to be treated. I think the main source of your problem is that you don't present yourself as a pleasant person, so they want to have nothing to do with you. Or, more to the point, it sounds like you are just a complete a**hole to anyone you meet if you have some kind of disagreement with them. And that gives people the idea that you don't want them around. For example, If you meet a nice girl and then call her a "slut", she will both be offended and think that you don't like her and thus don't want to be around her.

Handing out insults and derogatory comments like candy is a sure fire way to ensure that nobody would ever want to spend time with you.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

and

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything"

Would be sage advice. As with everything else here. If you judge everyone bad, you won't make friends. No one is perfect, I have friends who have very different views on things than I, but we don't focus on those issues.

For example, I love guns, my friend hates guns.

She doesn't send me Brady Campaign fliers, and I don't try to take her shooting.

Try to look at each individual person as a whole.

Sounds like you get yourself into problems mainly by being too judgemental.