How to socialize? Feeling overloaded.

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Today I was out with my father for a short while and I wasn't being particularly receptive to conversation. I felt completely overloaded and every word I heard seemed to compound it. I was expecting to grab some food as soon as we left, but this didn't happen and I was starving the whole time. I'm wondering if this made it worse for me? Most of the time I can deal with a moderate amount of conversation, but earlier today it was particularly difficult and I felt like I wanted to crawl into a cave and decompress!

I'm staying with my parents for a week or so to visit and they had expected me to accompany them on a joyous grocery shopping expedition that sounded like a complete nightmare. I think they were pretty put off that I didn't want to partake.

Any thoughts or words of advice? I've felt this way countless times throughout my life and I could never understand how people get through constant socializing!

i don't know if this will make you feel better, but i've been trapped with friends who...all they wanted to do was sit there and have conversation. I appreciate these friends, because friends are hard to come by (due to AS), but man....i would have done anything to escape their house and go on a grocery shopping spree...anything to avoid sitting around in their house all day and gabbing...and stomach was empty. Ugh, it was awful. (don't drive so i was truly trapped) So i understand where you're coming from....feeling hungry yet being forced to do what is so difficult for many of us on the spectrum....unstructured socializing.

If this happens again, perhaps you can grab something to eat during the grocery shopping expedition....beef jerky, string cheese, yogurt...something quick to stave off the hunger. Figure out what kind of thing drains you. For me, it is gabbing/chatting with no beginning and no end...that is draining. For you, it may be different. Just thought, perhaps your parents could have dropped you off at a bookstore or something, then pick you up later at a set time and you could accompany them to just part of their journey.

At any rate, don't push yourself to do something that is overloading just to please...it will come back to haunt later. i tried this with acquaintances and the few friends that i have.....after a while I shut down completely (after months of trying hard to please and accepting invitations); recently i had a meltdown. You can't please everyone, because the need to decompress will overwhelm eventually.

I also have days like that. I think you are amazing that you went with your father. So give yourself a pat on your back for it. If it was me, when i am overloaded, i just shutdown. There is no way i can push myself. My tolerance has gone up, so i can tolerate more than earlier, but then it always ends with migraines and atleast 1 day in the week when i am completely not there. On those days, i generally do routine stuff for which i not the scripts. My family knows i am like that, so they typically organize outings that way. Or if they want me to do something different then i dont talk at all. They too never force me to talk and do all the socializing themselves. I am just standing. At work when i am forced i generally make a schedule for myself and keep something really rewarding at the end of it. That was the only way i could get through my days in the last year of my previous job.

I dont know if this helps but know that you are not alone with this.

Thanks for the replies, friends!

Until recently I thought I was alone in this and that I was just rude and antisocial. I think I need to plan ahead a bit more to make sure I take care of my basic needs like eating and drinking water, otherwise I start feeling off and have trouble functioning.

It really helps to know the potential source of my socialization issues. Finally it feels like something I can manage with the right planning!

I think this will help me: guaranteed light at the end of the tunnel!


The bane of my existence. Getting really really really high helps, and with mostly stoner friends, this works out, but I think I'm done with all that. I've realized I'm far too ambitious and high energy to effectively sedate myself every day. I need to BURN and accomplish to really feel happy.

Do you trust/feel comfortable enough to maybe write a letter or e-mail to either of your parents expressing your concerns and why it was hard for you to go grocery shopping with them? And that the potential talking or going around with other people around is overwhelming for you.

Everyone else's suggestions are great too. I'm not saying to just do what I suggested only and not (some of) their suggestions too.