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daniel3103
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Location: Rotherham, Yorkshire

15 Jul 2012, 12:01 pm

Like most people here, I find it very difficult to understand humans. I wish there was a book titled Understanding humans for dummies that covered the basics step by step. I haven't found such a book, but I have found a few books and websites that have helped me to understand people better. I would like to share them here. Many of these are aimed at people looking for, or already in, romantic relationships, to help them understand actual or potential partners; however, you don't have to be interested in romance to benefit from these resources: they'll still explain to you some aspects of people.

So, the resources are:
- Watching the English by Kate Fox: written by a social anthropologist, and explains the behaviour of English people in logical terms.
- For Men Only: a Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn: based on a survey of women, it explains in simple terms what happens inside women's minds.
- For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn: similar to the previous one, but the other way round.
- You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen: This one is more academic. It explains the hidden meanings behind mens' and womens' words.
- http://whatwewomenwant.org : this site explains womens', and (despite the title) men's, behaviours, especially during courtship and romance, and makes sense of these behaviours in the light of genetics and evolution.

If someone has found other resources on this subject, I would like to hear about them too.



thepurplefire13
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16 Jul 2012, 9:03 pm

Thanks for the book references. :)
One thing I've learned about them is that they love to be listened to instead of just heard. People really appreciate it if after hearing something one time, someone remembers it at some point in the future, like birthdays and Christmas if they mentioned they liked something.



Merculangelo
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16 Jul 2012, 10:54 pm

Today I went to a sandwich place that I don't go to extremely often, maybe once every couple weeks. But I went there twice this past week. I went today and the girl working there was the same as was there the other two times this week and she remembered BOTH my previous orders. This actually creeped me out more than anything else. I opted for pretending like it didn't happen and saying my order out all the way even though she had already said it.



aSKperger
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17 Jul 2012, 8:26 am

I recommend books written by Allan & Barbara Pease.
They reflect NT world quite closely. And facts from their books are always great conversational topics for both men and women.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Pease#Books



daniel3103
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18 Jul 2012, 1:18 pm

aSKperger wrote:
I recommend books written by Allan & Barbara Pease.


Thank you for that, the summaries look very good.



GiantHockeyFan
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18 Jul 2012, 2:52 pm

Merculangelo wrote:
Today I went to a sandwich place that I don't go to extremely often, maybe once every couple weeks. But I went there twice this past week. I went today and the girl working there was the same as was there the other two times this week and she remembered BOTH my previous orders. This actually creeped me out more than anything else. I opted for pretending like it didn't happen and saying my order out all the way even though she had already said it.


I tend to "pick up" conversations that ended many years ago (I remember even the tiniest details) and never realized until recently it actually creeps some people out. I'm actually surprised when the other person DOESN'T remember because I assume everyone has a photographic memory like me.

I went to an out of town restaurant once for the first time in over a year. Not only did I recognize the waiter but he remembered exactly what I ordered. Go figure that I don't even recognize my own next door neighbors out in public!