Feel people don't respect me because I'm an Aspie

Post Reply New Topic

Well, to other people I just appear as a very shy girl with Social Anxiety, but even so, that's still no reason to be spoken to like I've got no feelings, I may seem dumb to other people but I do show emotions a lot so there's no excuse to think I don't have any.
I've probably mentioned this before on WP, but at my last volunteer job I got a rather rude reply of ''I wasn't talking to you!'' when I was just trying to join in a conversation, and the conversation wasn't private either, it was just a general small talk type of thing really, and if she really didn't want me to be in the conversation then she could've just smiled to me and said, ''tell you in a minute'' or something like that, being so she liked me and I liked her (that's what I would have done anyway). But that's not the point - if somebody else had done exactly what I had done, they wouldn't have got spoken to like that, but because it was me who (I suppose) confused joining in with butting in (which shouldn't of been such a big deal anyway), I got a rude reply and felt embarrassed after that.

I always thought it was a social rule to not point out people's quirks, and to just think of it as ''just their way'', otherwise it could upset them, and having a habit of jumping into conversations isn't a socially unusual quirk, especially knowing that I don't interrupt people in mid-sentence and change the subject or anything like that, so it shouldn't be such a problem. But because I am me, people breaking social rules to me is the story of my life, never mind how I feel. This is where I think NTs lack empathy in some ways, because pointing out a personality trait like that to my face and expecting me to just move on isn't very thoughtful, and little does she realise that how she said ''I was talking to you!'' to me like that has actually knocked me back and has now triggered off my Social Phobia and has made me feel inadequate to speak up in group conversations. I do know that not everybody would say stuff like that, but it has still put me off, and now I know how true the saying ''silence is golden'' is. Sometimes it does you good to just keep your mouth shut.

I think this summarizes what many of us experience. It's like they see us as a "free pass," like we don't count, like they can throw out all the social norms and behave disgustingly toward us.

Personally, I believe she/he was in the wrong to speak to you this way.

---

As to social connections, for improvement, perhaps find people with a common interest /passion you like and join. Remember, in the club, you will not find all who you like or vice versa. That is ok.

---

I always look toward (and connect) with what I call "good spirits" people who are fun loving and who easily provide love / caring/ laughter. They are often non- judgmental too.

This person sounds very rude. I hope this incident doesn't discourage you too much. It's good to have a voice and interact with others and while some people are rude, thoughtless gits, there are a lot of good and nice people in the world that will treat you with respect and kindness.

People like that don't deserve your opinion. That's very disrespectful and inconsiderate. This is exactly why I don't bother with small talk.

That's so true...
I find that they think it's okay to do it to you and yet when you do the same, you get kicked out.
Double standards me-thinks.
Anyway that's not right. Forget them as people like that aren't worth knowing.
You don't have to cease having a voice because of one mishap. Even if you do have all these difficulties and disorders, you still have a right to use your voice to speak your mind.
Don't shut yourself in the dark.

I had a woman at a job like that who got so furious if people joined her conversations. Some people just don't like it, I just don't talk to them.

I've had lots of experiences similar to that. I talked to a couple people about it before & the explanation I got is that I rub people the wrong way a lot & they get frustrated with me after a while & come down hard because they get tired of cutting me slack. I'm a loner because the NT social word is not meant for me

You should be probably angry and not embarrassed (to be angry is NT standard behaviour)
There was nothing to be embarrassed about, so this feeling is in wrong place, here

And try to answer whatever to that kind of rude things,
like: "What do you mean?" that she has to react and if she is not careful she isolates him/herself from that group. (Surprise her)

Complaining about rude or wrong behaviour is right! and shows that you are not without defence
(It might even trigger others to take your position, not all NTs are rude, as you said)

Usually I don't have that kind of problems but the indirect rude comments that you first realize later are really bad for me.