I cant start conversations

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every time I try to start a conversation with someone about something. I can never find the words to start it. most of the time I end up saying nothing. sometimes I will plan out everything I am going to say and the person says something different from what I expected and my mind goes blank.



also I can talk to people I have never met online with no problem but when it comes to the phone or face to face I go almost mute

Keep some notes by the phone? keep a note/list in your pocket, nip off to the loo to remind yourself?
I talk to folk on Skype quite a but and I often write a list of what I want to say, they cant see it

You know, ironically, a great way to start a conversation is by saying "I am absolutely horrible at starting conversations! Does that happen to you? Because I can never think of anything to say. Take now for example."

Usually this makes people laugh, which is a sure fired way to get people to to know you. Humor can put things in a perspective that are bluntly honest and yet completely appropriate, because as long as you make them laugh, they don't really care what you say. Look at insult comics. They make their living by making fun of people in front of lots of other people, because they're funny!

Try using a little humor. Works wonders for your soul too, when you can laugh at yourself and get the joke.

I've found that humour helps me to start conversations sometimes.

I've also found that asking people how they are helps with conversations. When I was talking with my friends, I asked everyone how they were, and a few seconds later the conversation just flowed and then we were chatting a lot! Sometimes I don't know what exactly starts a good conversation off.

Ask people questions about themsleves: such as what they do for a living and about their hobbies. People love talking about themselves!

I can totally relate to the feelings of anxiety you have, but teaching yourself to calm down can work wonders. Taking a few deep breaths, doing a full body relaxation exercise before a social event or practicing mindfullness meditation can alll help quell your anxiety.

i do not try to start conversations, but conversations often result from comments that i may make aloud to no one in particular. those conversations often spiral out of control and then i relinquish my participation in them.