Anyone feel like they've achieved nothing?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 19. Sure I'm in college as an engineering major, but I have the worst luck with people especially girls, since I've never kissed. Plus, they just teach the theory and I will only start to work on major projects after I get my first job.

At 18, I tutored a small group of physics students. Some said that they would have failed without me. At 13, I was in the top ten in my state for the National Geographic bee.

I mean this sounds good but I was hoping to be further along in my life, especially in a social sense. Most of my interests are asocial and inactive.

No.














































































At 19 you have three whole lives left full of chances to accomplish things.

Yeah I guess I'm pretty young but maybe my real problem is I don't know which direction to go at this point.

To be honest, no one at 19 really does.

If you like your engineering courses, stick to it. There will be plenty of time for girls later. When you are on academia, lack of social skills can be a skill. Less distractions while you get your degree. And once you get to the higher levels, you will start to have to meet people and the such. While you focus on that stuff and start doing small steps in meeting people it will allow you to keep developing social stuff when you graduate.

But you don't like being asocial and inactive. The only solution is to become more social and active. In the case of social stuff, it WILL be hard at first. But there is no way to avoid that hardness, really.

Thread moved from Philosophy, Politics and Religion to Social Skills and Making Friends

could be like me 26 and barely ever left the house.

Well when I was 19 I wasn't studying yet. And I hadn't had a girlfriend either. But, around 17 I started to enjoy or want to be with people around me.
Just go wherever you can go and don't worry too much about being awkward.
You will automatically start to compensate(If you are not busy with thinking about you how stupid you are or that kind of crap)
Just flowing along with others is pretty easy (for me).

Maybe you like to have peoples' mind or something like that as a special interest?

Quite many people are strange in our worlds terms and in that sense somehow some of them interesting to me as a study object...
Society is another

Well thinking about people is a really demanding thing which is really interesting

I've stood on a lot of the same ground as OP myself - part of the perquisites of this neurological deviation is being able to loop around and come back to approach things that peers were doing at 16 and grok them for ourselves at a later stage in life. When I interact on some of my special interests I can sense that this pulls some people out of their jaded-ness, when they see me displaying the amount of enthusiasm I put into it.

This has played somewhat favorably in some of my attempts at dating, not being one to ask 'form letter' questions. If I could harness that 'new special interest' intensity and not burn them out, I'd consider that as achieving something

We may not attain all of the world's standards of success but our lives are richer and more rewarding when we're in our element to be our best

Depends on what you're looking for. Sounds like you can be proud of yourself, and as long as you know what you want I'm sure you'll be Ok.

Personally, I've had some girlfriends, finished school, but started another study because I found out during my internships I wasn't happy, did some other stuff - but it doesn't matter. Not sure if I want to start dating again anytime soon, too. I never really figured out what I want to do with my life, so it feels like I'm running in circles. If you've figured out what you want to accomplish the next couple of years, you've already done a lot of the hard work, in my opinion.

And even if you don't - easier said than done, but if you feel like you haven't achieved anything - try to remember it's just a feeling. You've already mentioned some stuff you're proud of, and rightfully so. It's hard to turn off your emotions, but there's really no need to feel bad about yourself.

I'm 38 and have not really managed to do much. I own a house, hold a crappy full time job and have multiple cars. Yet this is not really the kind of accomplishment I care about. I want to have a family of my own but have no clue how to do it. I can't even get a date, let alone much else. I lack the basic social skills to deal with romantic situations and hate new places and experiences so I am screwed.

I left school at 12, and spend my days on the computer, so, yes.

Totally agreed. Also, If you want to push yourself, you have to be aware of what your priorities really are. I was in univeristy for a few years until I got obsessed with the idea of social success. I spent a year trying to prove that I could meet as many people as possible, but this backfired to the point where I was so mentally exhausted that I had to drop out. It may be better if the OP is mainly focused on getting school done.

I've noticed that most people on the spectrum seem to thrive when they are doing one thing at a time. If you've already started something, stick to it as much as possible and switch focus when you can afford to (i.e. work on social stuff during summers away from school).

Also, the girls come with the territory of learning those social skills. Plenty of guys here need to realize that yes, your hormones are skyrocketing, but you're not going to land a relationship unless you've had practice socializing and being a platonic friend first.

Definitely. And it's pretty near to the truth, to be honest with you.