Why do people need to be so nasty?

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I know kids can be mean, but this is pointless and takes the biscuit. When I was a teenager there was this girl at school who was only nasty to me, but seemed nice to everyone else. I remember she showed me a necklace she had got, and I said, ''oh that's nice, where did you get it from?'' and she said, ''none of your business!'' in a bitchy voice. Being unconfident, I wondered if I had said something wrong, but I analyzed what I had said and nothing seemed wrong about what I said - I thought that was the right thing to ask when somebody bothers to show you something of their's.

Then when I gave her a birthday present (some chocolates wrapped up in wrapping paper), and asked her the next day if she liked what I had got her, she said, ''I didn't like them, and neither did anyone else in my house, so I put them in the bin.'' She didn't say it in a nasty voice, she said it as though she didn't realise she was being a bit rude. When I told my other friend, he was appauled, and said that telling you they put a birthday present from you in the bin is socially unacceptable, then he told his mum and she said the same thing, then called her ''a stupid cow''.

And yet this girl still had a lot of friends and had the cheek to call me weird and exclude me from everyone, and people wonder why I have such low self-esteem now. And when I left school and went to college, I met another girl who was as bad as this one, and said even worse things to me, like, ''don't bother coming out with us this week-end - all you do is flirt around with my boyfriend'', when I know I never flirt around with boys because I only do that with older men (but I never told her that). And she said other nasty things too that made me feel uncomfortable.

Thankfully I'm now friends with older NTs who are not stupid and immature, and people of my age who are non-NTs or NTs that are nice.

Idiot b*****s like that never grow up either. I had a woman who was over forty decide I was flirting with her husband and tell everybody else so. They believed her!

I don't know why people feel so insecure that they have to pick on someone else to feel powerful. Just keep in the back of your mind when you see the person that your being there exposes a weakness of hers, not yours.

It seems to me that some people, on a subconscious level have this utter self loathing thing going on. Unhappily they are more then willing to project it on to others that might seem different to them.

Hmm, not sure, sounds like two particularly nasty people. Unfortunately kids can be mean, but adults can also be mean.

It can be hard not to feel irritated, angry, hurt or resentful about it. But in general I've found that if I get to that point, I'm giving too much of my time and effort to unworthy persons.

Yes some people are definitely nasty and high school girls can be downright evil. This post reminded me of this girl who sat across from me in my grade 9 science class. In the early high school years I was a very shy quiet girl who didn't have any friends...in primary school I was very unaware socially and in my own little world but by grade 9 I had become aware and very self conscious. I only ever interacted with this girl on two occasions. Once I asked her if I could borrow a pencil and she just said she didn't have one, and once when we had to divide up into groups of "3 or 4" to work on an experiment. Everyone was already in groups of 4 and a few with only 3 and I didn't have a partner, this girl was in a group with two other girls at our long table, so I asked if I could be part of the group, she said "we already have 3 people". I reminded her that groups were supposed to have 3 OR 4 people but she said her group had "enough people", so I just went away and told the teacher I didn't have a group. Her sister was friends with my sister and when my sister went over to her house to play with her sister, the girl badmouthed me to her and my little sister, saying that I was "that loner who is so annoying and is desperate to make friends". My sister told me what she said afterwards.How is asking to borrow a pencil and asking to be part of a group for a science project (only once and taking no for an answer) "desperate to make friends"? I didn't even want to be this girl's friend....I would have been if she had wanted me as a friend because I had none, but all I wanted was what I needed at the time, a pencil and partners for the science project! At least when I do something socially inappropriate and someone gets annoyed (which happens to me on a regular basis btw I can make some sense of why the other person was offended/ annoyed , even if they it's for what I consider a stupid reason. However in this instance (after consulting with my NT mom and sister) I know I did nothing wrong and I still managed to get an bad reaction!

Does this strike anybody else as something we would do?

If you mean the sort of blunt behavior that manages to disregard the thoughts of the other person (for whatever reason), then it could bear a resemblance sometimes.

Aspies can be unmindful of others, but so can non-Aspies I suppose.

NO. The description of the act of putting it in the trash bin is tmi and it's meant to hurt. An aspie might've said "disposed of" or "threw away" - in the worst cases of bluntness.

I think it's to do with the hunger for power and dominance to prove they are still the ones who call the shots.
Of course what I would do now is pretty much twist them against each other.
Also I don't think we would do or say that to one person and generally picking on that person but being friendly to others.

Most people who get like that are either insecure of their own social deficiencies and feel that our apparent rudeness is because they are inferior somehow.

SOmeone who simply gets irritated would leave the irritation alone.

Yer but I'm emotionally insecure and I am not very good with social interaction*, but I still would never be nasty to anyone, even if I found someone weaker or less intelligent than me. I consider their feelings too much, I hate hurting people, and if I did I feel guilty afterwards, and want to do anything to make up for it.



*OK I may be all right with social interaction, I know everything I need to know, but I'm not as good as most NTs: I can't always think of the right thing to say until it's too late.

Depends on how well I knew the person. If I know the person well, I would usually say something right away (probably feel bad after I see their reaction, if it's big enough).

The conundrum I run into is when you hear from people they would prefer I lie than tell the truth... WHY ASK THE f*****g QUESTION THEN.

Again, this could be a foreign domain for me, I hate buying gifts just for this reason, and hate receiving them more, because I don't know how big I should react to certain things.

FFS. Socks are socks, I am not going to jump up and down because I have new/cleaner ones mom.

I hate presumptions made by anothers," You know him, you know what I like. (well, you like 5 min tricks in the parking lot bathrooms, but I can't gift that as*hole).

... Sorry I went off on a tangent, gifts, Xmas, any holiday, bday... They make me so anxious that I never get any enjoyment from them, and prefer not to go (granted, I still prefer to be invited so I can turn it down).

While I think your friend is a b***h, I could see myself doing the same thing, without a hint of contempt; for me, you asked, so I tell you the truth. If you wanted a lie, qualify your question related your desire for false information if the response is negative.