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I was at my congregation today eating lunch and happened to sit next to a few other ladies who I normally socialize with. One of them happened to be a someone who I talked about previously.

As a mild recap, she was gone for two full months and practically ignored all of her friends including myself who she goes to congregation with only after having us over for a pool party and cook out over the summer. In fact, she seemed to disappear right after that. I happened to see her last week and she did not seem to want to be up front with me when I asked her where she was. She gave me a smirky, "I don't know." She seemed happy to see me there but them right after service, this person hopped into her car and then just took off out of the parking lot extremely fast.


She was back today and sat next to me but ignored me for the most part which is unlike her. I had manage to say hello to her when I noticed that she sitting next to me.

She replied with, "Did you miss me?" In this really high phoney voice that just nauseating. The way she said it made me feel like she did not really want me around. It also sounded like she did not really did not want to be around me.

One of my other aquiantances last week asked me if I had had heard from her and I said no but also mentioned that I did not seem to trust her since something about her seemed off to me. Which is true because I don't trust her but I was giving her to chance rather than being judgmental

Anyway, I went to get something to drink when she suddenly responded to me by asking me out of the blue if my co-called friends were gossiping about me anymore. I looked at her and said that it was a while ago now and mentioned that I don't associate with other people like that. Then she said in a really cold voice, "Yeah, gossip is bad." It again made me feel icky and down hearted.

I then sat back down and she did not make any effort to talk to me again but rather talked to her boyfriend on text or talk to the other acquaintance who she also ignored over the summer. To be honest, the way she talked to me and acted today was enough to make me feel like a pile of dog crap. So, I chose to remove her from Facebook this evening.

What are your thoughts about this situation? I just can't trust this person and I don't think she has been very nice to her other friends either.

Also, if I could tell her anything what could I say?

I think you instincts were right about not being able to trust her. From what you've written, her behaviour seems quite off putting. I wouldn't feel comfortable around this kind of unpredictable person and wouldn't want to be their friend.

I think you've done the right thing removing her from your Facebook.

One of my other aquiantances last week asked me if I had had heard from her and I said no but also mentioned that I did not seem to trust her since something about her seemed off to me. Which is true because I don't trust her but I was giving her to chance rather than being judgmental

In regards to the above section of your post- It has been my experience that these sorts of answers always get back to the person they are about. It becomes gossip even though that is not what you intended. There is the possibility that this other person said something like "I was just talking to (insert your name here) and she said she doesn't trust you and that there's something off about you."

It has taken me many many years, but I have learned that if it is not something I am willing to say to that person's face or something that I have not already told that other person I keep my mouth shut.

I hope this is helpful.

Thanks for the tips in regards to gossip. However, I don't think I was really gossiping. Instead, I was expressing how I felt about her. This is one of those people that seems likeable and nice enough but when you are around her there is something about them that does not seem right. Anyway, I did not mention that she seemed like drama to me but that I rather did not trust her.

Gossiping were if I were to talk about some of the the things she does or says and I really did not.

While she happened to be gone, other people constantly asked me if I had heard from her and I said I had not. I asked them, and they said they had not heard from her either. In fact, she blew off one of her really good friends when he tried to call her. She said she was going to call and text him back and never did.

When I had tried to ask where she had been last week, she did not seem really up front with me. Instead, that is when she gave me "I don't know," with a really big smirk on her face. At the same time, she told me some really weird things that I cannot mention. However, I really feel that if she were a friend, then she would have called us and been honest of where and what she was doing. Even at the cook out, she did not even give us such a heads up.

As for her being a friend, I don't think we really are. She hardly ever calls me or writes me on facebook to really see how or what I am up to. In fact, if we were friends, I wouldn't be at the top of her list. The main one is because of the big age difference. I am in my 30's and she is in her 40's.

From what you said, I would agree with you, that it doesn't sound like she is behaving like a friend would. Maybe she's got a lot of stuff going on in her life that she wants to keep to herself? It sounds like she's trying to distance herself from the group but not cut the ties completely.

A possibility 2- Maybe with time, once she has sorted things out for herself, she will open up again.

A possibility 3- She entered the group trying to be someone she really isn't and is not able to keep up the untrue image.

A possibility 4-????

These are the things I find so difficult about humans. There is all this guess work to try and figure them out when it would be sooo much easier if they would be blunt and to the point.

I guess at this point, if it were me, I'd just say hi to her when she said hi to me and let it go at that. If anyone asked me about her I'd give them a simple answer of "I'm not really sure" or "I don't know"

I hope this is helpful

I think it does. I was sad about her ignoring me last night and turning out not to be a good friend. Then again, I wasn't really on top of her list to begin with so I am not bothered.

I realized she is a good person but just not a good fit.

Well...since we are guessing... I would venture that she was away due to psychiatric issues. Either that or she had to deal with an addiction problem. She is now either no longer on a drug that was affecting her personality or has now been put on a medication that is affecting her personality. Thus the unusual reactions.

Her problems are that she is guy crazy and has been dating more than one guy at once to see which one would be better for her. I don't want to get too nosy on that but I really do think it's weird.