Why is my friend being a horrible so and so?

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NateRiver
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25 Aug 2012, 5:17 pm

Basically I would like to start off that I'm gay so I don't like men. I am just very close friends with this guy.

He told me he loved me and that his girlfriend was a b*tch so he only cared about me now on. My friend was feeling low so I thought maybe they should talk to each other because they both were having relationship problems.

My friend started to like him, so I thought okay I better check on the "he loves me thing" and maybe he likes her too. So I asked him if he still loved me and he went " Maybe :/".

So, then I find out they're kinda a couple now. So I was thinking "Wtf, why were you telling me you love me?" He then started annoying me this morning calling me stupid names like 'Chicken boob' and saying " I LOVE YOU" in jokey ways and that he was feeling unloved when I didn't tell him I loved him back.

I just don't like that he could use that word so frivolously (also when I told him to stop annoying me, he continued and made a big deal about it on facebook.) I don't fancy him, I feel betrayed and I'm not too sure what to believe anymore.

What should I do?:/

What is he trying to do?



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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25 Aug 2012, 8:34 pm

Apparently, the screenwriter Nora Ephron made a career out of exploring the theme, can men and women just be friends?

And so, even though you're gay, and I'm figuring most probably you told him you're gay, he may have still been hoping something romantic would happen.

And the rest of it, him saying he felt unloved and trying to push it away with jokes, is his responding to his own embarrassment.

Give him space and time, at least a couple of days. Which also has the advantages of giving yourself space to see if there still feels like a friendship possibility and if you Stijl want to be friends with him. In large part, if you can accept that he has patchy maturity skills, and don't we all have patchy skills in one way or another. And if do decide to remain his friend, please remember to take it medium step by medium step. Give him a chance (if you're so inclined) to graciously recover from his mistakes, just not all at once.



BMctav
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25 Aug 2012, 10:45 pm

NateRiver wrote:
What is he trying to do?


Sounds to me like he's just being flirty, but in a silly way. :?

He might be projecting some flirtiness on to you that he's not feeling in his relationship; and since you are gay there's no risk of anything happening so it's "safe" for him to do this because there's no chance of anything happening between you both sexually.

Or he could genuinely fancy you and is just trying his luck. In which case, if he gets too annoying, you'll have to tell him to stop if it bothers you.