My sister and "friend" is two faced, please read??

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Very long story, dont read if you dont want to
This includes more people too, not just my sister, but it just hurts more that my 17 year old sister would be involved.

Anyway I am 19, and I have Asperger's, so you can imagine I was different to others to say at least. But i can say with my hands in the air that while I was dead quiet, I was always nice to people and never said a bad word about anyone. But of course nobody could see that, coz they dont like when people are different where I am from, and I was unfortunate to be given a horrible excuse of a little sister, and I mean REALLY horrible, not just sibling horrible. Barely anyone in my family wants her around that much because of how she is and how she b*****s to her mates and other people about our family how WE apparently treat her like ****, even though it is the other way around. It is coz she is spolied so when you say no to her, she does not like it one bit.

Anyway moving on to now, I thought she has improved herself around us, how she is nicer to us now and I feel more comfortable around her and her mates (becasue before she used to show off and make fun of me in front of them, because of my AS I was not able to stand up for myself, makes me feel more pathetic too since I was the older one)

But one day I had the house to myself and when I went on the computer to click into facebook, my sister still had hers logged in, and it was on her messages.
I know I shouldnt have but I still dont trust my sister entirely that she keeps her mouth shut about our lives, so i went through one thread of messages she had with this guy in my year who I thought was nice to me. But I was so wrong, and now so glad I looked at them.

I went up in the message thread to as far as New Years. The guy told my sister how I rang him at New Years to wish him happy New Years but said how it was 2.30 and that I sounded nervous.
I was drunk that night so of course I sounded weird, that and the fact lines were jammed at midnight! My sister then said: how I was such an idiot for ringing, and that I must think i am so cool or something. (WTF since when did getting drunk on new years and ringing people just to wish them a happy new year just to be nice suddenly become something stupid to do?)

Then she told the guy how I asked her how is it she gets so many likes on her statuses (I just wondered because she can get like 20 likes for saying what she had for dinner) To my face, she says she hasnt a clue, she not even that popular and i believed her.
But she said to the guy that it is because she is so naturally funny, and that how she doesnt have to try, and then said how I was trying to put up funny statuses to get likes but it wasnt working
.
Then the guy said: how yeah she is putting up a lot of statuses lately, but the spellings all wrong and stuff. (It was New Years and I was drunk, I thought it was a great idea in my drunken state....deleted them all at once the nest day when I sobered up) Then he said to my sister: sure it's probably people actually like you. My sister said: haha yeah coz people like me and I actually have friends, and then he said: yeah coz she actually doesnt. Anyway Happy New Year

I went off crying when I saw that. Because I never said or did anything bad to him that time, I have gone though the effort of bringing him on lifts with me on nights out, while he never bothered to organise any (he lives near me) I've always tried to chat to him about ANYTHING but he barely tries with me, and this is how is is to me behind my back? I mean I'm not perfect myself, I have my fair share of being bitchy behind people's back, but I have only ever done it if the other person was bad in some way towards me. But this guy, I have NEVER once said anything bad of the sort about him.

I mean he does seem to be a lot more nicer to me these days I've noticed, but really how could I trust him? Espcially since he still talks to my sis and asks her to do stuff like hang out, not once has he ask me do hang out or anything, and Im not asking him coz how can I?

As my sister...i mean where do you begin? Even if I turn out to be successful in the future with my life plan, I can throw out every toxic person in my life, but my two faced sister will still have to stay. And she can either hate me, or be fake and act how she is so proud of me when she never was before.

I dont know my real question for putting this up and what advice I need, I just need to get that off my chest because this is another blow to my already fragile heart and mind after dealing with two years of backstabbing and bitchiness, and I seriously dont know how after all this time that I still have not broken yet......

The best & most helpful thing I can say, I think, is to forgive them. To pity them--your sister, that dude, and anyone else who sees fit to judge you. And not some 'holier-than-thou' pity that's really judgement/condemnation in disguise, but real pity (which requires empathy).

Your sister, based on your description of her, does not sound like a happy person. When people are unhappy and not in the habit of self-improvement/personal-reflection, they tend to lash out (unthinkingly) at others when, in truth, they are unhappy with themselves. More often than not--and this is most unfortunate--they lash out at those closest to them, often those they love the most.

People are complicated and often petty. Let them have their pettiness; you've no obligation to take it upon yourself. Let them have their misdirected anger; you don't have to make it your own.

As a very sensitive person myself, it's easier to offer this advise than it is to take it, but I will also say this: the only person's opinion of you that really matters is your own. If you know you are a good person, what else is there?

I'd suggest focusing on being happy with yourself and finding others with whom you can freely share your happiness. If (hopefully 'when') your sister decides to accept you for who you are, embrace her with open arms. Otherwise, I'd more or less "smile and nod" and let her figure it out on her own.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck.

Regards.

P.S. You haven't broken yet because you are strong. Remember that.

I am not trying to play devils advocate, but you are kind of speaking ill of you sister now. So the idea you NEVER talk bad behind people's backs is really false, don't you think?

Granted, I can feel your pain, maybe it is time to just confront her and throw this stuff in her face. Since I suck at confrontation, I like to write a letter and have them read it while I am there. That way I can get all of my thoughts out without interruption.

The only reason I say you should confront her is because you are right, she is your sister and will always be a part of your life.

It depends. If she's like this at 19, it could get a lot more dangerous as full adults. Not a day goes by that I don't regret I didn't put a restrain order on my sister before age 40. And yes, at 19 she was like your sister. Be VERY careful, such an enemy inside the house could ruin your life. From my experience.

I think the best you can do is smile and nod as said above for her to figure it out on her own. These people are better not confronted. They're the worst snakes - if this is how they treat their own blood, there's no limit to what they can do to other humans.

People may pretend to agree with her about you to keep on her good side, but people are not stupid and they see your sis is dangerous if this is how she treats her own blood. People also see such a person as weak and easy to abuse, because these people weaken themselves by weakening their most important sources of strength in society, which is one's siblings. The problem is she loses and deserves it, but you lose too.

You are both very young and as you both get older and mature, you could end up getting on really well together.
On the other hand, it's not uncommon for siblings to lose touch and grow apart as they get older. In my small circle of acquaintances almost half have siblings which tehy don't speak to for years on end even though there's not really much animosity between them.