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infilove
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23 Sep 2012, 10:13 pm

do you feel like a lot of people especially NTs underestimate their social skills -they say their bad at it and get nervous but when you actually watch them, their social skills seems phenomenal? I find that happens a lot with people I meet. Do you feel that way too?


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Aoibh
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24 Sep 2012, 4:37 am

I feel exactly the same! It's so irritating.


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Ai_Ling
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24 Sep 2012, 8:17 pm

I guess from the way we look at it, yeah. I think its likely a confidence thing for them.



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25 Sep 2012, 1:50 pm

Yes I know someone with ADHD who says she has a lot of trouble with social situations but she talks to people and even flirts and communicates non-verbally and physically (social touching) really easily. I guess everything is relative.....



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25 Sep 2012, 1:54 pm

In all fairness, I think most people with AS seem to underestimate how Hard Social skills can for Normal folks. As the post above says, It's all relative


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26 Sep 2012, 1:03 pm

My mum and her sister are admittedly fairly shy people, and my mum says that she doesn't look at people passing in the street, and her sister says that she clams up when chatting to people. But every time I walk with one or both of them, they gawp at every stranger that passes them and often get a hello out of them, and I'm like, ''err, Mum, if you don't look at people in the street, and Aunt, if you clam up when speaking to people, then how do you manage to attract people's attention and feel good greeting them?''

Also I was told that people can pick up on whether you're nervous or shy, even if you try to hide it. Well my mum and her sister must be excellent at hiding their shyness and hatred for people then, if they manage to get everyone speaking to them. I try to hide my shyness by walking up straight and making eye contact and smiling to people as they pass, but all I get is a nasty glare from everyone when I do it. And my mum's sister doesn't look confident at all, she doesn't have a very friendly posture, and she has a nervous look in her face, but still gets greets from random strangers.

Then people wonder why I put myself down all the time....


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daydreamer84
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27 Sep 2012, 12:33 am

Joe90 wrote:
My mum and her sister are admittedly fairly shy people, and my mum says that she doesn't look at people passing in the street, and her sister says that she clams up when chatting to people. But every time I walk with one or both of them, they gawp at every stranger that passes them and often get a hello out of them, and I'm like, ''err, Mum, if you don't look at people in the street, and Aunt, if you clam up when speaking to people, then how do you manage to attract people's attention and feel good greeting them?''

Also I was told that people can pick up on whether you're nervous or shy, even if you try to hide it. Well my mum and her sister must be excellent at hiding their shyness and hatred for people then, if they manage to get everyone speaking to them. I try to hide my shyness by walking up straight and making eye contact and smiling to people as they pass, but all I get is a nasty glare from everyone when I do it. And my mum's sister doesn't look confident at all, she doesn't have a very friendly posture, and she has a nervous look in her face, but still gets greets from random strangers.

Then people wonder why I put myself down all the time....


I also can't "hide" my nervousness in social situations and other people who say they're nervous don't look or sound that way at all when I see them interact.........I'm not great at reading social cues ....so maybe I'm wrong.....but they just don't have an obvious awkwardness caused by being nervous like I do....so I guess they're just able to mask it.