OMG...

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it's actually choking me up and making my eyes water that there are after all other people out there with my exact problem. well, more specifically reading people's posts describing things and situations and having had just the same thoughts, dilemmas, and situations myself and the great overwhelming feeling of sympathy/empathy hitting me all at once like an atom bomb.

self-esteem in the negatives.
social/relations confidence pretty much nonexistent.
never really sure if i'm moderately attractive or a new species of ugly.
friendships had always been at zero, and the few i have now seem fleeting and unstable.
no relationships so far for most of the damning reasons stated above.
above normal intelligence, but i'd trade it all away for some social skills.
trouble remembering things (not great short term memory, names, faces, appts, chores, etc.)
able to remember all too well, random trivial information, flashes of distant memory (long term)
trouble sleeping. tired all day. life is emotionally draining to keep up with.


ETC ETC

I know the feeling -but sometimes even here I feel like an alien . I guess I've been feeling like I don't fit in for so long I can't see out of my cage .

There's an easy friendly rapport between some members here that I don't have a talent for. I wish I did. It's the same on Facebook-I can't banter.

^ I cannot banter either, and I have not tried anything like facebook. Even socialising online is out of my league.

I hate it how so many people judge you (negatively) already by your inability to banter on Facebook and in real life etc. I'm sure we have lots to offer in terms of honesty, loyalty and knowledge but they (majority of NTs that I've met) don't wanna know us better or open up to us coz of our perceived lack in sense of humour.

Oh well, that's their loss...

Why are NT's considered the normal ones when it's the spectrumish that see through the B.S.?

NTs are considered "normal" coz they form the majority of the world population, which sucks for us.

Yes, we are a bit superficial in how to approach people too (prefer no Banter and all that illogical crap). But based from experience, I'm sure that we give them way more chances than they give us, especially considering how much crap we have to put up with each day...

I used to get the "You're creepy" line all the time when I was in school, but...well, I guess I still do if I have to talk to someone new for too long. I don't banter well either. I don't understand small talk at all. My problem has always been that whilst someone else is busy chit-chatting about whatever inane idea pops into their head first, I do my signature move
which is to stare off into the distance while they continue to prattle, then interrupt (out of boredom) and start talking about eclipses or Japanese cuisine or something and THEN I get the blank-stare-"you're-creepy". Or else I just walk away in the middle of their boring speech and get scolded for being rude later.