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R_a_n_d_y
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01 Jan 2013, 9:55 pm

I am in my 30s, struggling with AS, and I want to get married someday. Any classes I can take to help me with social skills?

Randy



icyfire4w5
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03 Jan 2013, 11:45 pm

Hi, I apologize in advance if I sound mean, but here's something quoted from another WP post of mine.

"10. You can improve your social skills at any point of your life. Practise, practise and practise. Unfortunately, social skills are mostly hands-on rather than theoretical, so people might be stumped if you ask them to teach you social skills."

(However, if you are interested in theories related to social skills, try borrowing books about Organizational Behavior from the library. These books are more or less the same in terms of topics covered but I believe that you will definitely benefit as long as you study every topic in-depth and reflect upon what you have read.)



CockneyRebel
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04 Jan 2013, 1:45 am

I cope by being myself and enjoying life. :)


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BTDT
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04 Jan 2013, 11:35 am

It also helps to go out and do stuff so you actually have something to talk about. It is even better if you pick stuff that is sort of mainstream and of interest to potential partners, like gardening, as opposed to making rockets.



VAGraduateStudent
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04 Jan 2013, 12:34 pm

I agree with the above advice. Also you can go to YouTube and just search for whatever thing you're having trouble with. Asperger's is pretty varied, so some people have non-expressive faces, others have a habit of not looking at others while they're thinking, speaking, or listening, other people have a distinctive walk, and then it's really common to monolog while talking about things that are interesting to you and to feel maddeningly bored when someone else talks about something you don't care about. Most people with AS have their own blend of things that have developed over time. I think it's important to remember that ALL social behaviors (for people on the spectrum and for NTs) are learned, just like when you were little you learned your native language. All you're doing is picking up a few phrases in a foreign language so you can better communicate with others.

And yes, depending on what area you live in, you might be able to find an IRL class to help with social skills. I would start with YouTube, though, because that's free. You can also let us know what kind of social skills are harder for you and people should have some more specific suggestions. There are lots of threads on here already that may help as well.



R_a_n_d_y
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04 Jan 2013, 10:11 pm

Thank you for the suggestions!! !



rocknrollslc
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06 Jan 2013, 1:08 am

Keep yourself occupied and stay in the moment. Express yourself. Don't put up an act. Learning to socialize is all about trial and error, and the good news is that the error has a way with tearing down inhibitions.