Social advice requested by someone willing to actually try.

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Any tips for someone professionally diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome to get some friends, maybe even a partner? I'm trying to come out of complete social withdrawal, along with just trying to get my life together in general, and I have absolutely no idea what to do. Also take into account the fact that I live in a place where there is literally nothing to do besides go to the movies, unless you feel like spending a bit of gas money.

My old best friend from way back in grade school has been keeping back in touch with me recently, and I, at least I think, actually get along pretty well with him. I don't mean to sound like I'm using my friend, but I wonder if it's possible to get connections with other people through him? Like do you simply straight up just ask him if he's got anyone you'd like to talk to? Or do you let it happen more naturally, as in do you wait until he introduces you to people?

Are there any others ways for a guy like myself to make friends? I got about half a year to a year before I get into college, which will definitely be one of my better social outlets, so I will have to make do with other methods in the meantime. I wouldn't function at all at big gatherings like parties or crowds or anything, so those are not an option for me. Maybe joining a group with like minded people or those sharing a common goal would help me?

Give me some ideas here. Speak from experiences or the experiences of those you know. Just help a guy out here.

One thought to keep in mind is that making friends happens naturally as you improve your social skills. I'd focus more on that. The best way I've found to improve social skills is by asking someone to teach you. Have you told this grade school friend about your AS? If you think he would be open to helping, try asking him. Tell him you honestly want to be a likeable person, good at conversation, etc., that you recently discovered that you are not (which you never realized before), and you want to improve, and he can help by just telling you when you do something inappropriate.

When I was 24 someone told me for the first time that I talk too much. I had never realized it until that point. I decided to ask that same person (who became my mentor) about things like how to make eye contact appropriately, and she was happy to help. Now I do pretty well.

Be prepared to accept that a lot of things you thought you did well, you've been doing badly all this time. It's not your fault - you had no way to know. But if you can improve these things (and it's definitely possible with a bit of work), you might find that you make friends much more easily than you thought you could. You just need to find someone who's not afraid to be honest with you. Good luck!

Unfortunately, the best way to get friends is one of the most uncomfortable things to do, and that is simply: put yourself out there. Online works sometimes, but in person is better. Go out and participate in activities that interest you, and try to meet people at these gatherings.

If you like cars, go find a car club. If you like anime or manga, find a group that holds viewing parties. If you like working out, take a yoga class.

Things like that.

asking your old friend to help you is not a bad idea, but i wouldn't try too hard to join his current circle of friends, odds are you are incompatible.

i recommend you find a club or group dedicated to one of your hobbies, your special interest would be ideal if you can find a dedicated group for that.
in such situations, you will have at least one thing in common with the others: the activity they gathered for, and performing said activity will always serve as a fallback plan should interaction become tireing or stale (that is why i usually prefer to play some kind of (card) game if i'm around people, it allows the conversation to be reset).
if you feel uncomfortable to go to such gatherings alone a first time, your friend can help a lot by joining you the first few times, and he could introduce you to a few people there, get you settled in.

at least, this is how i did it, and i have since inproved enough to take the role of the 'friend' for some other people in simular situations

What do you do for work? Maybe you have some coworkers you could grab a beer with? That's a real good male bonding activity.

Reminds me of my situation about 3 years ago.

Movies? I don't see how to get to know people there. It's only helpful for getting to know someone better (esp. a date).
What's your current occupation? Do you attend school? Do they offer any activities there?

Back then, I played in a couple of orchestras. I didn't make any friends by this, but at least it was a group activity.

To give you some hope, it got a lot better when I moved to a larger city and started attending college. The huge difference is: If you're good at your subject at school, you're called a "nerd". At college, there is no such term, and being good even gives you a social bonus (unless you're too arrogant about it).

I'm in the exact same situation, bud.
It feels good to know I'm not the only one!
I've actually many ideas on how to make friends.
I'm just so busy lately.
Moving into a new house, working on music, making sure bills are payed, tending to my dog, keeping up with online relationships.
It's been hectic, and yet I'm happier than ever.
I just got no one to share it with.
My advice is hobbies... find a good solid hobby.
Whether it be model building, trading cards, comics, or video games.
You say that you live somewhere remote?
I'm sure there is comic shop somewhere.
Drive around and look for places like this.
I'm sure you're too socially fragile at this juncture to dive right in.
but resturants, diners, bars can be good.
I've met some crazy characters at Waffle House.
If I was old enough I'd probably go to bars.
If you have a therapist, ask him where you can meet more people like you.
Most cities have meetings similar to AA or NA where you can go and talk to people in small groups.
Recreation centers, gyms, and the like are good too.
I'm a gifted rapper. I can freestyle about anything and everything.
I wish to start doing open mics. I'm lucky, my city is an epicenter of art and activity.
It's got a huge university, so possibilities are endless.
I want to join a creative writing class to better my ability at that and to learn how to write stories.
I love writing fiction, but I'm not very good.
I'm sure I could meet equally talented folks in this realm.
My vernacular and wit often confuses the common folk.
Not to sound arrogant!
I just choose to talk about pseudo-politics, philosophy, and music as opposed to the common "How was your day" rabble.
I wish you luck, OP.
If there is one thing I've learned about problems, it's that they do not last.
They tend to work themselves out for you if put forth a little fortitude.

The other posters gave fantastic advice, which I can concur, WORKS. Specifically, and I know these were already mentioned by other people:

-Disclosing your AS to your friend and asking him for tips
-Finding online forums relating to your interests
-Working on your social skills and then meeting people naturally (I like what the poster said about meeting people randomly at Waffle Houses etc. This may sound creepy to some people, but it's really how a lot of friendships and dating relationships start. You just see someone a lot, strike up a conversation, and it goes from there)
-Making friends with people at work (assuming you like them)

I also want to add that I have many friends on the spectrum who have made concentrated efforts like you're talking about. They become very easy to talk to and gained many good quality friends in just a year or two, which is pretty astonishing. I'm NT, and I moved to a new town once. I lived there for two years and NEVER made friends. But I didn't have this attitude and make this effort like you're doing. If you put your mind to it, you can change your social life pretty quickly!

I am going through OP's same situation. I need to be more involved with people from all stripes who are my age group, and try making friends. I determined that is is the only way to live a fulfilled life. My problem is not having direct contact nor a direct social outlet with other peers my age. Besides, my peers are leaving my small city to find better jobs, before my very eyes. Not ALL my peers, but a majority of peers in my age group. Any good advice for me? I don't want college either.

If your people are moving to a bigger city, try moving too? Unless of course if you like the smaller town feel.