Lonely, yet meltdown when bombarded with friends?

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While I have my awesome BF, I kind of miss having my old girl friends around. But we're all having separate lives, and I've accepted that and don't really want much more then facebook because the interactions are too infrequent and stressful right now. But I hate saying no to my old friends when they want to meet up, even when I'm busy (while it's rarely, it's happening right now). I had 3 happening this week, plus my birthday party had to cancel on the one who I had seen the most recently. I hate when people only remember you on your birthday!
Anyway, this is an odd little post, but hopefully somebody kind of understands what I'm saying here.

No it is fine you did good.

I am 47 and believe me I am likely way older than you but I do understand as I have a paradox.

Some days I long for friends but when I get them I refuse to put them on Facebook etc. If they don't call and want to go out and share life I leave them behind or just chat to them if I see them. I am a big computer and internet user so it is not that just that a lot of the time I might experience being lonely but when I am with people especially those not living with certain conditions I want to run.

You are fine I hope others answer as that is a issue about we want our old friends back but when they do come back we want to run away or too busy. I think sometimes it is not letting go of them, but more as we learn about ourselves stuff we move on and get busy and just don't want to revisit the past, but again that does not mean we do not speak to them every again even on Facebook.

Life gets in the way. They wanna be friends but crap happens. It sounds like they had kids, their kids are growing and so forth. Maybe your kids and their kids are a different group so you don't fit in. Who knows. You can still have them as friends but learn to accept new people as well. That's the ebb and flow of having friends. If being around a lot of people stresses you out due to stimuli, work up to it. Have a couple over for a game of cards or whatever girls do or compare jewelry. (I'm a guy, can you tell?) Then work up to maybe five or six, then ten, etc. I've learned that the AS brain will get used to it. Our brains can grow new synapses and learn just like NT brains do so if you force yourself to learn the social skills you weren't born with and didn't grow up learning, you will figure out ways and your brain will get used to the stimuli. It takes time I know.

*pokes at my age* I'm only 20, and I'm struggling to handle my niece and nephew, let alone having kids XD And they're far away too, though I suspect one might get pregnant in the next year or two.
I had social skills, but I've been a hermit for the six months, except when I'm with my boyfriend, which is different. I understand what you mean MrObvious, just not quite what I'm getting at. I have the skills, I had these friendships for 4+ years (yes, I swear I'm Autistic XD They were great and understanding friends), but it's a lot harder to be a friend when I have to make the effort to see them and bus and do all the stuff I hate. It was so much easier when I had to go eat with them for lunch and I had my mom driving me everywhere. *hates buses*
The panic is gone now that I only have two left, though ANOTHER one has come out of the woodworks to meet up with me. *hides*
And girls don't compare jewelry (much) and a game of cards is for old ladies. Well, or my family, we love cards. My friends would laugh if I suggested it though.

AND the panic is back.
I managed one.

But I'm crying at the thought of doing another. I did cancel, but told her honestly why I cancelled.
I'm wondering if I'm developing a social anxiety disorder, I've never been that interactive with people, but I've never had this huge anxiety when even thinking of going outside and seeing people (besides BF and family)