Treating female cousins with respect...

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Saturday night, December 20th, A.D. 2014, my ma and pa went to my pa's family Christmas get-together in Augusta County, Virginia, and all my younger female cousins have children outside of marriage, and I follow what the bible says about sex outside of marriage.
I used to call them skanks, sluts, and whores, just 4 that very reason.
My cause is that any bastard and girl or woman who has sex outside of marriage shall be in danger of hell-fire.
I'll be getting counseling soon 4 this very reason. I've had counseling for multiple reasons:
1. Sex counseling
2. Anger management x3
3. Group counseling
4. Etc.

I do believe that you are entitled to your own opinions, but I think that calling them names is going a bit too far. Its their choice whether they want to do that or not. It isn't very respectful to talk to females that way, especially your cousins.

First off congrats on seeing a counselor and that is wise. In terms of calling your cousins names and condemning them? That is none of your business. If you keep acting high and mighty I hate to say it you will be be rejected by your family.

Why is wrong to think that? Having sex and becoming pregnant is not that special. Shaming is a great social tool for society and single mother tend to be bad parents if you look at the stats. Remember respect is not a god giving right but is earned by hard work.

just lol, do you even English?

I am sorry that I am not great at English. However, this shows me that you do not have a convincing argument if you rely on a pitiful attack on my not so great diction. Next, if you want to attack someone based on their command of english please use correct english yourself.

It's not "wrong" to think anything as long as you keep your mouth shut and don't call people skunks, especially if nobody asked for your opinion. If she doesn't like her cousins and how they live she doesn't have to have anything to do with them. I suspect they might be grateful for it too.

How other people live their lives it's none of her business.

True, there's absolutely nothing special about having sex and making children or at least it doesn't give anybody any special rights. Where I live, not having insults hurled at you doesn't qualify as a special right. People who go around calling others whores and sluts should be prepared to be answered in kind and it's going to get ugly really, really fast. Civilised folks who want to live amongst others learn to keep such opinions for themselves, or cut contact with those of whom they disapprove so deeply. I fully agree with you that respect should be earned, but what we're discussing here is actually a matter of self-respect and basic manners, one of the reasons (I assume) you don't go around calling strangers ugly or stupid or whatnot even if you might think they are.

Once again, it's none of her business how others live their lives. Or yours. Or mine for that matter.

Shaming is an overused social tool that gives short term results and causes a lot of bad side-effects. One of the reasons it's overused it's because many people are too lazy, cruel and stupid to actively try to change a bad situation, especially when it's so easy to throw stones at others while feeling so self-righteous and without "sin" (as if...). It's also extremely arrogant and patronising to imagine yourself in charge or other people's "spiritual" well-being which is actually a very private matter. The world is full of busy-bodies and maniacs who think they are entitled to impose their values on others and dictate how everybody else lives their lives but guess what? It's none of their business.

And in this case the deed is already done, shaming, guilt-tripping and hectoring will only embitter the recipient and create more problems. Those in the family who think single parents do a bad job should get involved, it takes a village to raise a child and all that. The kids are already here by no fault of their own and being pragmatic about such issues is guaranteed to give better results then calling them bastards and their mothers skunks.

Long story short: If she doesn't like how others lives she's free to cut contact, she's also free to think whatever she wants, but if she goes around calling people whores she should be prepared to be called the same or worse.



Her incorrect English was used sarcastically.

To hvtitan08: I've got carried away while addressing Orangez's post.

It's a good thing you realise that your own behaviour might make matters worse and that you're trying to do something about it, anger management in particular might help with such outbursts.

It's also good that you have a moral code and want to live up to it, try to understand though that others have no obligation to live by the same code and that in general it's not a good idea to try to "police" their behaviour or insult them for their mistakes. In the long run it will only bring you frustration, bitterness and anger and make you a lot of enemies. You'll also live to make your own mistakes, as we all do, and for some you might end up paying dearly. You'll be very lucky to have around you at least a few people who try to understand and help instead of judging.

I hope counselling will help, if you're content and at peace with yourself and your life it gets a lot easier to be more forgiving of others or at least not to express your disapproval in such brutal terms

While research genealogies, I discovered an interesting fact. Roughly 20% of all the first-child births are <*ahem*> "premature" by 4 to 6 weeks - meaning that the parents' wedding occurred significantly less than 9 months before their first child was born.

This seems to hold true not only for the current generation, but for every generation going back to before the American Civil War!.

So, look up the marriage licenses of your great-grandparents. I guaranty that there will be at least one set of them that had their first-born child arrive significantly less than 9 months after their nuptials!

@BenderRodriguez
It is Noein's right to shame people as that is the christian way. One cannot be a good christian without good old shaming as shaming is a great social tool that works even to this very day. It is funny that you agree with the other person attacking me on my use of english instead of my points, thus, shaming me. Please have a logical consistency before trying to argue against someone as you believe society should shamed into taking care of a child. Counselling itself is just shaming a person to believe in a standard mind set brought about by society.

@Orangez "It is Noein's right to shame people as that is the christian way."
This statement highlights some of the contrast which can be seen between various congregations. I've visited a few different congregations over the years and heard many different views. The Bible was written by men, translated multiple times, and is interpreted by different men. I've read different versions/translations of the Bible. What I've taken away from the New Testament is that Jesus preached acceptance and love and even to the end, he forgave those who opposed him. The sole story involving Jesus getting angry involved people turning a place of worship into a place for making money. "It is not the words or the translation which matter, but the message." I've never had a problem with Christianity, but I've had issues with some Christians.
Have those cousins made mistakes. Yes (they are only human). Should they acknowledge those mistakes. Yes (that's how we grow). Can they undo what has been done. No (they can only try to do better going forward). Has the poster made mistakes? I don't doubt it (we all make mistakes). Is it the poster's duty to save those cousins from "hellfire"? No. Those cousins can be shown a better path, but they can not be forced to walk it.

Note: I was raised Christian and after a period of soul-searching, I am now agnostic. I still think the Bible has a lovely message, but I've seen no scientific evidence that it is the "word of god"

How does shaming someone for having a child outside of marriage helpful for anyone? Also do provide some kind of evidence that single mothers tend to be bad parents, do you have the stats on that to show us? And also how does it compare to the state of single dads? Shaming is a great tool for bullying but in the end serves neither the victim or society.

I agree with you, Sweetleaf. I think that what you've said is spot on.

Since you are a Christian, let me cite a few Bible passages for you to reflect on:

1.) Romans 12:18-21

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

2.) Matthew 7:1-3

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?