hate having to repeat myself
Since this is something which I'm trying to work on........anyone have suggestions on how to deal with getting frustrated when being asked to repeat yourself? This has long been an issue with me, partly because I'm aware that I have problems with voice modulation, but can't afford speech therapy. (and not sure I would qualify for it) Anyhow, just to give a few details on where and why I get frustrated:
- the other person is usually NOT able to give feedback on why they couldn't understand me. The most I've been told is that they could only understand half of my sentences, and that my voice blends in with background noise. My daughter has told me a few times that I wasn't talking at all, just making random noises.
- if I make an effort to speak up or more slowly, sometimes the other person gets mad because they think I am being rude and mocking them for asking me to repeat.
- my family members expect me not to get frustrated if they ask me to repeat something multiple times, but they will get that way with me if I have to ask them to repeat something. (mostly this is from my mom)
- when I worked as a church secretary, there were certain congregation members whom I was hesitant to call on the phone for any reason because they couldn't understand anything I said, and I really had to make an effort to speak slowly and clearly.
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
I have to do this all the time when talking to my husband. He has a bit of ADD or something, because I see this look come over his face and realize that he has gotten distracted. It really angers me at times, especially when we are having a good conversation and suddenly he is no longer listening at all. He tells me he can't help it, so I feel your pain! I really hate it when he has me repeat something over again just because he wasn't listening the first time around.
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Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
Try having a Really Thick accent like me. I've to repeat myself alot to people I've known for months simply because I forget to speak slow and uncomfortably so they can understand me.
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Your Aspie score: 56 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 144 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
I've had this problem growing up and have gotten a lot of training as far as public speaking. Here are a few tips to purposely make your speech easier to understand:
* Talk slightly slower, with a little more volume, and punch
* Again, SLIGHTLY slower
* Breathe through your diaphragm, not lungs
* Record yourself (if you have an Android/iPhone there are plenty of free apps that will do that) and practice this as well
* Concentrate on having a more projecting tone to your voice and focus on that instead of your breathing
What I mean by that last point is that if you imagine yourself speaking with a more powerful voice, your body will naturally breathe stronger, your vocal tone will be stronger, and you will slow down a bit. Imagine talking in front of a group of people and you have no microphones to amply your voice. If you were speaking to them au naturale, you would slow down and speak louder. Now pretend you're in that situation next time you have a conversation with someone and get into that "public speaking" mindset. If they get frustrated, don't get angry, just quickly change your mindset to the public speaking one and try again.
Youtube has a lot of great videos. I found one interestingly enough one time from an Indian person who actually spoke similar thoughts of talking slightly slower, using good pronunciation, modulation, etc. as if he was talking to an audience of Indian people trying to learn English. The tips were very good and helped me with the mindset and to put it all together.
