How to get parents to understand online friendship?

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Because of my AS, nobody will be my friend in the closed-minded hick town where i live. The only close friend I have is this one guy i know online that I have known for over 2 years. However, my parents are dead set against me meeting him. They are backwards and old fashioned people. They judge all online relationships based off the horror stories shown on Dr. Phil and Oprah. If I was to go visit him, my parents would not allow me back into my house. I am afraid to even approach them about it again, because they flipped out on me last time I mentioned it. How can I convince my parents that not everybody online is a sexual predator and that I should be allowed to meet my online friend?

P.S. I am male and in college so its not like a sexual predator would have interest in me anyway.

Actually a sexual preditor who victimsed college students was released in my area, and it was the young male ones he liked, also Jeffery Dalmer liked young males, but with that aside, I would suggest your parents go with you to meet this person in a public place and go from there.

I've known this guy for 2 years and there has been no sexual overtones to the relationship whatsoever. No request for suggestive photos, etc, like you hear about in sex predator cases. We do send each other photos of ourselves quite frequently and even talk via web cam. These conversations are totally as close friends would talk and have nothing sexual about them. I think if he meant harm he would have made his move by now.

1. Meet in a public place....
2. Take someone with you - or tell someone where your going...
3. Make sure sercurity camera's are in the area....
4. If you go anywhere else other than the meeting place - make sure you know where your going - and tell the person you told that your going they.

5. Take a stun gun with you

If there set on you not meeting, they will probably not change they mind, but depending on your age - the respect is not they....

Regarding 3 - very useful if you've been raped or murdered. A camera can't save you.

I'd meet this chap in a well-lit public place where there are plenty of people around. And do take someone responsible with you who can steer you away from danger if needs be.

Trust me you can be kidnaped in day light and no one notices but a camera sees... better, better been safe than sorry... do mean public place with people but make sure cameras cover it... just about been sensible reallly..

Last edited by logitechdog on 20 Dec 2006, 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

How is that making you safe? A camera only records something. It can't step in if you're in danger. Cameras can easily be manipulated to 'not see' if you have the right connections.

Ever heard of security operators.... that are at the camera centers.... Store security…

It’s about having information about the seen… And unless the person is worth something I don't think they will go to the length of doing that.... plus make sure they don't find your mobile phone and you phone can be triangulated,

that don’t work like I said carry a stun gun…

Say that to the people who took a person with them...

"" We could go on ages back & forward if we go on if this happens "" lol

Last edited by logitechdog on 20 Dec 2006, 3:54 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I'm sure they're all very busy peering at young women's bottoms. I maintain that no camera nor camera operator can save you. You think it can.

To be honest, you'll be far safer if you take someone with you who has their wits about them.

logitechdog: If you really were kidnapped anything like mobile phones or any other personal identifiers would be the first thing to be thrown away.

don't know what you seen but last time I looked, you don't just stand they.... If it was a group of people or 2 then ye, or he got you with some kind of cable tie, but like i siad we could go on all day on what if's....

and you put your phone in your arse crack :p as a sarcastic remark lol

Great about the security cameras and everything, but should I really have to worry after knowing this guy and everything about his life for so long? We even call each other and stuff...just like real life friends would do. He has AS also and suffered through the exact same things I suffer though until he just got lucky in college.

All I need to do is convince my parents that the chances of me dying in a car accident on the way to meet him are higher than him doing harm to me.

I'd take someone anyway. If it's obviously safe then you don't need them around on subsequent visits. I'd do the same with anyone I met off the Internet - whether a burly friend or a nice chap in his sixties. You can't be too careful. It's not about "he'd never harm me", it's basic common sense. Really, we're just being practical.

There's nothing you can do to get through to your parents. They are obviously paranoid/delusional with no grasp of statistical probability or understanding of what information makes the news/talk show cycle. A nineteen year-old man should not be subject to such arbitrary, whimsical, and controlling limits on his interactions by his parents. I suggest testing them on their threat to kick you out of the house. If they really do so, you're better off without them.

And am I right in presuming that this guy is pretty much your only friend? I mean, that would make sense if you have AS. And, if true, this should really highlight how cruel your parents are being. You see, they should be absolutely thrilled that you have a friend and be supportive of your desire to meet. Did they offer to go with you when you asked about visiting or make any other suggestions to help facilitate this? It doesn't appear so, from what you write. It sounds as if they flatly refused on the basis of the nature of your interaction. What complete BS.

After some long explaining I reached a compromise with my parents. I got them to let me meet him if it is in my area and he couldn't stay the night in my house. He said he would be alright getting a motel. I feel bad for doing that to him but its the only way we can meet. I hope that when we meet, he doesn't see the same repelling force in me that everybody else sees and decides to quit being my friend. Has everybody else's online friend encounters went pretty well?