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Summer_Twilight
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13 Jan 2013, 1:41 pm

Hi,
I had a quick question. As most of you people get frustrated with each other and say things to offend the other person. Some people say things without regret.

Anyway, I was wanting to know the best way to write someone when something bothers you? Even further, when is it okay to let someone know that you are not in the mood to talk to them at the present time?

Finally, if they confront you back and you don't care to talk to them, it is okay to shut the door in their face and say, "Leave me alone?" If not, how do I set up boundaries that I need to cool off.



BeauZa
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14 Jan 2013, 9:29 am

If you meet with this person I can only suggest speaking to them about the matter in person. If they are a pen friend, simply convey your feelings to them through the same means that you would hold a conversation with them.

Simply let the person know that you don't wish to speak to them, and give your reasons so that they aren't left to wonder - I know a thing like that would drive me crazy.
If they persevere, remind them that you don't wish to speak to them, at which point you separate yourself from them. You shouldn't hold yourself accountable for how the recipient responds as everyone reacts differently to these situations.


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Summer_Twilight
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14 Jan 2013, 11:28 pm

I thank you so much for the advice on this. I spoke with someone else in person about shutting the door in one's face after giving them a written notice that you are not happy and asking them not to converse with you. We both agreed that shutting the door in one's face like that is almost similar to walking away if you feel that someone is going to get ugly with you.

In my case, I told someone not to speak with me before in written form since I was annoyed with some of their behaviors and comments. I also mentioned that I was too upset to talk at that point in the letter and was at the point where I was worried that I would say or do things I would regret later and that I did not want to resort to either so.

However, they tried to talk to me anyway by knocking on my door and wanted to confront me at my front door. I could hear them escalating and trying to say that they never did said certain things. So I decided to plain shut the door in their face. They knocked again and I said, "Leave me alone," and that was the end.



Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 16 Jan 2013, 10:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

BeauZa
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15 Jan 2013, 6:26 am

I'm glad it worked out for you! You definitely shouldn't feel like you have to put up with people who deliberately harass you.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 Jan 2013, 9:39 am

In this case, they were being sort of a bully to a neighborhood stray cat by making snide remarks about wanting to be mean to it and then someone almost ran into him and they were not in a good mood. So they made a comment about wanting to run the cat over.

I was pretty angry at their comments too.

When they tried to fend for themselves after being called on the carpet, it was almost as if I caught them in a lie.

"First of all, I never said that." I started to feel embarrassed and that is when I shut the door. Yes, I felt bad for shutting the door but I was not going to sit there and let the other person began to start the "Blaming the victim" junk by gas lighting on me.