Do you find yourself unconsciously influenced by appearance?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Sorya
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 4

11 Jan 2013, 10:57 pm

I always feel that it's important to be polite and respectful to everyone regardless of appearance, gender, race/ethnicity, etc. I've also learned that it is important to recognize when someone is treating you in a way that is not acceptable and to stand up for yourself or find a way to exit the situation. However, when I look back on past interactions, I realized that I let certain people walk all over me and treat me in ways I would normally have not put up with just because I was attracted to that person. I realize now that I let certain people influence me in ways that would not have happened had they been less physically attractive to me. There are certain guys I met in school who turned out to have obnoxious personalities, but I still find myself daydreaming about them just because I found them physically attractive, even though experience has taught me to run the other way when I meet people who have this personality type. I used to think I was free of that kind of bias, and now I realize that I'm not. It makes me want to try harder to see past physical appearance and perceive people for who they really are. Has anyone else looked back on their lives and found that their past interactions were influenced by unfair biases/feelings they weren't even consciously aware of at the time?



icyfire4w5
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 621

17 Jan 2013, 9:27 am

Um, I have already lost count of the number of times people confess to me that they judge other people based on factors such as how good-looking they are, how stylish their clothes are, how straight and white their teeth are... I'm 70%~80% confident that I don't judge the people around me based on appearance, but I do judge politicians based on appearance. I mean, since most if not all politicians have image consultants teaching them how they should present themselves, politicians supposedly need to pay more attention to their appearance than non-politicians, hence it's alright for me to judge politicians based on appearance.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

17 Jan 2013, 12:59 pm

Sorya wrote:
There are certain guys I met in school who turned out to have obnoxious personalities, but I still find myself daydreaming about them just because I found them physically attractive, even though experience has taught me to run the other way when I meet people who have this personality type. I used to think I was free of that kind of bias, and now I realize that I'm not. It makes me want to try harder to see past physical appearance and perceive people for who they really are. Has anyone else looked back on their lives and found that their past interactions were influenced by unfair biases/feelings they weren't even consciously aware of at the time?

ya i got obsessed with couple of guys who were good looking
and ignored the fact that they were morons in actual life
who ignored me, bitched about, spread malice about me
i ignored all that and concentrated on their beautiful looks
this can be really dangerous
i got lot of help after reading the books by Susan Peabody
especially about erotomania


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

17 Jan 2013, 1:30 pm

There have been several scientific studies that confirm that nearly everyone has bias based on appearances, whether or not they realize it.



Philosoraptor
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jan 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 180
Location: Massachusetts, United States

17 Jan 2013, 4:04 pm

I have to admit I definitely have biases based on appearance, although in an opposite way to the norm. If someone looks nerdy or geeky, my first impression of them is elevated significantly, despite not actually having any evidence that they are intelligent or even have nerdy interests at all. If someone looks...typical (e.g. jocky, Prom Queen-esque), I implicitly have the impression that they aren't very intelligent or ambitious, despite not actually knowing.

It seems to be a human mechanism to easily distinguish between the "in-group" and the "out-group" when rational considerations were not possible or prudent (e.g. meeting a fellow spear-armed hunter in the wild). I am curious as to what psychologically determines which appearance traits coincide with which preconceptions, though.



ruckus
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 398
Location: Australia

17 Jan 2013, 6:56 pm

I do, but not necessarily in the way you think. On looks alone, I definitely favour the people who dress similarly to me or otherwise look like they might be creative or into the arts. However, in the past I have made certain judgements of people who I perceive to look especially "dorky" (ungroomed, outdated glasses, fedoras, anime/video game shirts, etc), but I know this is a bad thing to do and I'm trying to stop thinking this way. Meeting people who enjoy elements of this "look" whom with I actually get along swimmingly with has really helped me get rid of some of my prejudices as well as making me a more accepting person over all.

I have one friend who I really admire in this regard. She's seemingly welcoming of people of all creeds, and completely non-judging. You'll turn up to a party she's thrown and there will be ultra-feminine sequined-up queer girls in one corner, crust punks in another, an entourage of hippies picked up from various festivals smoking up in the garden, all of whom are equally interesting people who deserve to be respected and valued, including the guy with the greasy ponytail, neckbeard and ragged clothes sitting on the couch (who actually turned out to be the sweetest guy and a great composer). I'm trying to be more like her and keep my heart open to people no matter how I feel about their fashion sense.