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Coliwack
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Joined: 24 Jan 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 8

03 Feb 2013, 9:25 pm

Hey everyone,

I am having some social issues and I was wondering if you guys could tell me what you think. Sometimes, when I try to approach a conversation, I feel like I am being totally ignored. Sometimes its my fault (I say something irrelevant/inappropriate), but other times I feel like I did nothing wrong and I am still being ignored. It hurts. It really does. What does this mean?

Also, when it comes to joining conversations, another difficulty that I have is identifying what is being talked about. By that I mean that I won't understand what the other people are talking about, therefore I can't find something relevant to say and am unable to participate. This hurts too because I really want to participate and it sucks that I can't.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Coliwack
High-functioning autism


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eric76
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Joined: 31 Aug 2012
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Posts: 10,660
Location: In the heart of the dust bowl

04 Feb 2013, 12:10 am

One thing to keep in mind when joining another conversation is that sometimes those having the conversation are focused on a very specific point. Any attempts to join the conversation without being focused on that point are sure to be quite unwelcome.

For example, if someone is talking specifically about deer hunting near some small town in central Texas, anything related to hog hunting in central Texas, even near the same town, or to deer hunting in New Mexico may be justifiably seen as being an unwelcome intrusion.



gigstalksguy
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Joined: 30 Jan 2013
Age: 43
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Posts: 89
Location: Worthing

04 Feb 2013, 4:25 pm

Coliwack,

Just because someone ignores you doesn't mean they dislike you, it is probably that at the particular moment you tried to join in with them, they may be engaged in something important. However people are far more tolerant of social mistakes than you realise, and chances are they'll be thinking more about their own social errors than yours.

I suggest next time you're at a party or a general social gathering, try to first observe the types of conversations people are having. If a group look like their engaged in deep discussion I would avoid them for the moment. However if you see a group of people all having a laugh, then go on up, introduce yourself, and come in with the same sort of vibe as them. Usually when I approach a group of girls in a pub when their all having a laugh and joke, I will get a very positive reaction, and they'll start to include me in their conversation. If on the other hand I approach a group of girls having a quieter, more serious chat about something, their reaction won't be so great because their in the middle of discussing something important. So try to assess the situation before you approach. :)


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