Trouble With Change

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Today, I had a very overstimulating day at an orientation session at my college. There were a lot of people rushing about and it was really noisy, which made me uneasy, and I had not eaten breakfast, so my blood sugar was low, which did not help me feel better. I soon recovered from this, and after the session was over, I went back to my apartment to relax, eat lunch and watch a movie.

Shortly after I had begun watching the movie, one of the friends I was IMing said that their friend told them that they were interested in pursuing a relationship. This in itself is fine, and I am in no way saying that it isn't. However, I was made extremely uncomfortable by a few things in this scenario; I was reminded that my friends have their own friends that I don't know, and that there are many people in the world that I don't know. I can't explain why those ideas make me so uncomfortable, but they do.

I started to feel very confused and scared at this sudden change in my social circle, so I attempted to focus on the movie and forget about it. The topic of conversation soon changed and I was successfully able to put it out of mind, but a little while ago, my friend suddenly stated that if his new relationship worked out, that he would want to live with his partner. This, again, is fine, but that friend had talked about living with me and my girlfriend, prior to this. I had even been thinking that him living with us is a bad idea, because he frequently engages in many of my social pet peeves and otherwise aggravates me on a regular basis, through no fault of his own. I am simply unable to cope with his emotional needs, and so us living together was clearly a bad idea.

However, this sudden change of future plans further confused and scared me so much that I felt as though I should tell him that I was scared and confused, so that he might stop talking about it. He asked why I was feeling that way, naturally, and I explained, which caused him to start speaking at length about the issue and how he had been thinking about not living with us for a while, but had not said anything yet.

I have no idea why I am so bothered by this. These changes are not major and they do not affect me in this instant, but for some unknown reason, I feel extremely angry, confused and frightened. Does anyone have any experience with this kind of trouble in coping with change? I could use advice.

I have this problem too, I seem to get it with abstract things as well like wondering people can just get on and do life and with large city landscapes...sounds weird and I can't really explain it but its almost as if I yearn for something simple and easily manageable...

I have found that the only way to deal with it is either to come on here or sleep on it.

I have also tried talking myself through it, telling myself that these things are normal etc.

Hope you get some relief.

Thank you. I started talking with my good friend and he was able to sufficiently distract me enough to cease worrying and thinking so much, so I feel much better now. (:

I knew that being upset with change was a common symptom of autism, but until now, I thought I did not have that symptom. It is strange how abstract things can bother us so much, while things such as moving and new school schedules can leave me unphased.

Yes

I'm like this.
I used to cry several times a week at school. I couldn't (well, still can't) cope with certain types of social changes.

You know what? It is normal to feel shaken and disoriented when your close friends begin dating and having partners as the time they had with you is now minimized. Believe me, I went through the same thing a few times myself. You know what? I cried and acted angry on both times.

As for change in general, it used to bother me silly when I was younger. Especially in my teen years to my early 20's. I remember 18 having a major change in my life and feeling heart broken when going through it.

When your friend starts this new relationship, you should make an effort to meet and befriend their new partner. Making a new friend would be be a positive change.