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sirhawkeye
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12 Feb 2013, 1:12 am

(If you've been reading my previous posts, you probably know the whole story so I won't put it here...)

Long story short, I've been hanging out with a girl a few times thus far, and I'm trying to figure out what I should do next (maybe not "what" but "how")?

I really like this girl, and from what I can tell (as indiciated in my other posts) she's at least somewhat interested. We've hung out a few times so far. I told her she was cute (and I think she took it in a good way). So, I guess my question is how can I go about letting her know i Like her more than just a friend?

She has aspergers too, as do I, so I'd like to think that this is easier than it is. Yes we both are aware that we don't pick up on the subtle things (body language or tone of voice) although I have learned to. for the most part.

Should i come out and tell her directly? How exactly should I go about it? I don't want to scare her off or creep her out either.



MjrMajorMajor
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12 Feb 2013, 1:25 am

I think in this case your best bet is to be direct. Keep it casual though. Maybe work in having a date in conversation and see how she reacts. Don't expect an immediate response, but throw it out there. Good luck. :)



sirhawkeye
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12 Feb 2013, 3:57 am

The reason I"m asking this is because I have Aspergers myself, and so does she, so we both don't get the subtle stuff all the time, and we can't ready body language very well either. I've ready many places that being direct is the best approach, but I don't want it to be awkward or creepy.



sirhawkeye
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17 Feb 2013, 4:36 pm

So, not to bring up an old topic again for no reason, I'm just a bit lost as to how to approach the situation with her and ask her about our friendship... I mean should I just be blunt and ask outright? I guess I don't want to creep her out by doing that, although if she has Aspergers, it may not.

She did tell me that she has Aspergers though, and that she can't always pick up on the subtle cues/body language, etc. Is this her way of telling me to just be straight up front with her or what??

I'm a bit lost here and could use some advice on how to "get the ball rolling" on gauging our friendship status.



hyperlexian
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17 Feb 2013, 6:01 pm

i usually commence it in stages. like, first i tell someone i enjoy spending time with them very much. then later on i say that they are special to me. usually i would get some kind of cues from that point. if not, then on a different occasion i might say that i really care deeply for the person, more so than just as a friend.


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ASDsmom
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17 Feb 2013, 7:45 pm

If you both have difficulties picking up social cues, then, as been said, be direct. Spend time with her. Tell her you enjoy spending time with her and ask her how she feels about you.



sirhawkeye
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17 Feb 2013, 8:55 pm

I'm starting to think that maybe I need to hold off a little, and maybe get to know her a little better first before I tell her how I feel. We've gone out about 2 or 3 times only, and maybe that's too soon. But also, I don't want to wait until it's too late (and she thinks that we're just friends and nothing more)... That's pretty much the problem... not so much how, I guess, but when....



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17 Feb 2013, 11:38 pm

No one is telling you to say "I love you". You've gone out on 2-3 dates - I say she's interested enough for you to mention you like her. How about saying something like this..

"Where would you like to go on our next date?"
If she responds with, "Date?!" then she sees you as a friend.
If she responds with a location, then she sees you as a date. :)



hyperlexian
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18 Feb 2013, 5:36 am

sirhawkeye wrote:
I'm starting to think that maybe I need to hold off a little, and maybe get to know her a little better first before I tell her how I feel. We've gone out about 2 or 3 times only, and maybe that's too soon. But also, I don't want to wait until it's too late (and she thinks that we're just friends and nothing more)... That's pretty much the problem... not so much how, I guess, but when....

maybe just don't take her on dates without making sure she knows it is a date - do things exactly like you would for any other friend, then. otherwise she doesn't have the benefit of saying yes or no to the date.


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