Feeling Isolated

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Hi everyone,

I have a hard time making and keeping friends because people can't relate to me. I approach problems logically instead of making a huge emotional drama and am proactive in finding solutions. It doesn't mean I don't get frustrated, sad, angry, etc., if fact I often feel those emotions, but I don't use them to justify bad decision making. It seems as though the number one complaint people have about me is that I "seem to have everything figured out." I don't make problems worse by doing stupid and reckless things. I guess, maybe to them, it makes me "less human"? I really don't know but it makes me feel completely isolated, lonely, and unable to relate to people.

Do any of you struggle with this?

As more time passes, I am starting to accept that fact. I guess it just makes me feel incredibly lonely because I rarely connect with anyone. On the rare occasion that I do, my new friend dumps all their problems and issues on me very early in the friendship. I have been told by many people that I am a "healer". I didn't sign up for that role.

I am pretty good at figuring out workplace strategy and am using that to the best of my knowledge right now. I recently got promoted and am up for another promotion next month. My way of thinking is that if I can keep doing this, I'll make enough money to fund all of my obsessions and then maybe I won't be as lonely anymore. However, I wish I had one friend who really understood me. That would be enough. I don't want to share myself with everyone... just one person.

Ah, yes. For what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Remain steadfast in thy loyalty to logic and risk no fraternization with the emotional masses? Tsk, tsk. The plight of all aspies, I'm afraid.

The thing is, I have emotions I'd like to share with another person, but they are just "different", or maybe a more accurate thing to say is they are triggered by different things. I'm still trying to understand it in a way I can explain explicitly to someone else.

Your last post could be interpreted in different ways. Your emotions are "triggered by different things." That can mean you'll laugh at a horrible car accident when others will be in shock. Or you'll cry at an air event when everyone else will be jubilant. Is that what you mean?

I don't want to just read my own thoughts into your post, but I've found - as an example only - that things like obvious stupidity or injustice will upset me, where most NTs don't even understand why. Then they get all upset by things like having bad hair days, and I... well, refer to what I just said about obvious stupidity.

Without suggesting your reactions and emotions are identical to mine, is that the sort of thing you had in mind? Because if it is, I think only someone else on the spectrum would have any clue what you were talking about. We at least know enough to realise we have trouble understanding NTs - they are so used to understanding "everybody", they seem incapable of grasping that they know less about us than we do about them.

This is what I meant. Thank you. I have an extremely difficult time expressing myself with words.