Taking an Interest In People In General

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Darialan
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01 Apr 2013, 9:27 pm

So, first thing's first I plan on moving out of my parents' home for the first time ever. (I'm 35...isn't that awful?) I've never had a gf. And the first step in finding someone is not only getting over worry about social awkwardness, but taking an interest in people.

Well, I sort of lack that interest in getting to know people. I wish it were as simple as going to an event where I know everyone is into horror films, anime, or j-rpgs, etc (fill in other narrow interests here) and then knowing that you're likely going to hit it off and make friends. I guess this isn't just for finding a gf, but friends in general. I just want to skip the whole get to know the interests thing and have friends. It's not just that it's scary (it sort of is). It's just that I have this lack of interest and worried about getting bored talking to the person. And also knowing that I may not feel like I have anything to contribute to the conversation, if it's a topic I know nothing about or could care less about.

So how's this done?



cathylynn
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01 Apr 2013, 10:39 pm

try "the fine art of small talk" by debra fine.



sacrip
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02 Apr 2013, 12:20 am

The trouble with small talk is that you don't really find out the interesting parts of a person until you get past the "Hey, how's it going, so what do you do?" part. So, think of small talk as an investment of time, the way you might invest money in stocks. That guy who talked about 10 minutes on the squash he's growing in his garden might be the guy who knows the comic-con organizer and can get you in for free. That middle aged lady who showed you 50 pictures of her dogs on the bus might just have a daughter about your age and is looking to date. In other words, don't assume you know a person until you've given him or her more than a few chances to be interesting.


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Cafeaulait
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02 Apr 2013, 11:26 am

RECOGNITION.

I have no idea how I would interest a boy...