How to make eye contact

Post Reply New Topic

I have problems making eye contact with people that are not my family, this makes things really awkward and I would like to know if any fellow aspies have any advice on how to make this problem a little better

I've forced myself over the years to make eye contact anyway, it's not pleasant but it does at least aid in reading people. The key is not to look to long, when your saying something directly to them look them in the eyes, but then blink and/or look away briefly. I find that taking a lot of these 'breaks' helps ease the discomfort, but it's still not something that I can keep up for long. If I know I'm going to have to go into a situation where I'll be expected to make eye contact, I do my best to clear time afterwords for recovery, and be sure I have gone through the situation in my head and thought out escapes (like the bathroom, or a fake private phone call for temporary relief and nausea, headaches, or mini-emergencies for leaving all together). I've also found it helpful to look in the areas just surrounding the eyes, which seems to work out ok a lot. For me its meeting people's gaze that upsets me, I could stare at eyes no problem if there wasn't a person who made me feel uncomfortable behind them! I hope this helps.

I secretly loathe it too; why does it matter so much to them? Anyhow, look at their forehead and they'll never know otherwise:

It is such a stupid thing, I can't for the life of me figure out why it is so important to NTs. But for some reason it is. So I had a close friend who was also an authority figure (medical director at the ambulance service I worked at, but also he and his wife practically adopted me) who had me "practice" looking into his eyes for as long as I could take it. I got up to as long as 15 seconds. It was extremely unpleasant, but necessary.

I know this is a naive question, but humans have 2 eyes.....so to which one(s) are we supposed to look? Or shift back & forth?

leftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftright........(n-1)

Apparently autistic babies look at the mouth of those who talk at them instead of their eyes, while NTs look at the eyes the first time round and focus on that. So I wonder if it is an auditory processing problem because they have to see the words. just speculation from me.

I find it easier to understand words if I can see them being spoken. Is that just me or..?