Is it ever ok to go to someone else's parents and complain?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi I really need some answers on this..

In recent times my partner and I had a bad experience with a housemate and I sent his mother an 8 page letter describing how this guy had upset us and this includes leaving my partner with a $2295 ($200 has been paid off) phone debt, I sent the letter along with his paperwork that he had left behind because I was frustrated and upset, he has also contacted my partners mother about a serious mistake my partner made and has recently made some threats to disclose his sexuality to her if we didn't leave his family and friends alone alone.

Firstly it was a one off and we felt at the time we had the right to chase up the money he owed us through every avenue possible, secondly we weren't going to continue staying in contact with his family and thirdly the threat about about the sexuality stuff was issues weeks after I had sent that letter and I had to put a stop to the threat and explain to him that nobody had been in contact with his family or friends at time that threat was made and that while we have no further intentions of contacting his family again he also needs to leave my partner's family and friends alone as well as it goes both ways and I informed him that we would be contacting the Police if he contacted us again and since then he hasn't contacted us or any members of our families.

I especially hated having to write the letter to this guy's mother as he is 20 but I was desperate at the time and my partner had become somewhat depressed as a result but at the time I felt that was the only thing I could do.

Years ago I was experiencing a lot of bullying at high school and I had issues with one particular girl (she had issues with me as well) where I was behaving in a socially inappropriate manner and she eventually went to my mother about it which was ok however unlike in the recent case where my partner and I don't intend to have further contact with our former friend's family she actually struck up a friendship with my mother and continued to report things back to her almost like a little tittle tale but unfortunately my mother got angry with me every time despite the fact that only 20% of what she was told was actually true or had elements of truth to it while rest was either exaggerated at best or completely fabricated at worst and this girl had even told other kids to go and see my mother about stuff as well which really stressed my mother out and some of these bastard made sh*t up just to cause trouble at times and this went on for years and even for a short time after I had left that particular high school, it almost got to the point where I seriously considered contacting the Police and the Education Department in my area, I had even gone to this girl's father to let him know what was going on (he had some involvement in this situation anyway) and I was well aware that he did not approve of his daughter's friendship with my mother but he apparently had a lot of issues himself including an ex wife (the girl's mother) who has serious mental health problems.

Personally I think it is only appropriate to go to someone's family if there's a life and death situation, when someone has done something really wrong to you like a committed a crime against you or if it's in their best interests in general other than that it is never appropriate to see someone's family it it's for trivial stuff nor is it appropriate to keep "report" stuff like a tittle tale back to someone's family when they're an adult or a teenager.

What do you guys think??

S

The correct forum would have been to file a claim in small claims court for the money owed. It is inappropriate to contact family members on a matter they have nothing to do with.

The guy in question has apparently seen a solicitor (lawyer) and he's been told he has no legal responsibilities and we have contacted the telecommunications ombudsman and we are seeing what we can do about it.

While I realize I was over the top in contacting his family I still had to address other issues which he had created and they were partly involved in.

I'm just happy he's not in our lives anymore..

S

I don't think it's ever ok to do that unless 1) you are 12 or under or 2) the person is in serious trouble and you think their parents could help them or get them out of the trouble. By serious trouble I mean something like serious drug addiction, owing money to the wrong people, very sick and refusing medical help for insane sounding reasons, etc. Not something like cheating in school, being rude or bullying, shoplifting, etc.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com