Girl's stag night

Post Reply New Topic

I just came home from a girls stag night, or more of a eve of the wedding party? I'm not quite sure what the correct english term is.

It was one of the worst experiances I ever had. And not because it was one of those silly things where everybody gets drunk and tries to embarass themselves as much as possible.. ( I think I might have preferred that) I was kind of forced to go, I really tried to get out of it but.. apparently the bride was somehow insulted by my initial refusal and the groom talked me into it? I don't quite get it because I am quite sure she really does not like me much. She's very neat and proper and sets high value on manners. And well I really don't meet these kind of expectations.

I didn't know most of the party as I am actually one of the grooms friends and those at stag night where mostly the brides. But unfortunately the brides best friend knew me. I rarly ever remember faces or names, so I had no idea. Turns out we lived together for about half a year in another city where we both studied. I only remembered after she told me, but she had some kind if attitude towards me so I am quite sure I did not make the best impression then. ( must have been 8 years ago or so)
The only one I knew was the grooms sister who I hadn't seen for a while, we were once good friends but she completely ignored me the whole evening. Well we grew apart when I was about 17 or so, because I was never good with keeping my opinion to myself and she really did make bad choices then. Anyway, akward. I didn't think she would actually not even talk to me after 13 years.
Then there was the thing that I was the only Single there, all women but one (she's getting married in June) already tied the knot. So the conversations were mostly about wedding dresses, wedding make up, wedding hairstyles, shoes, handbags... later it might have changed to babies, pregnancies, strech marks, one or two extremely detailed 14 hours in labor childbirth stories.. And really, talking about the texture of baby poop for 20 minutes? Really?

I don't like children and I never want some of my own, so not exactly a topic I could join in without saying something (probably) completely inappropiate. I'm really not into fashion either and I think the color of napkins is not worth having some kind of life or death crisis about. Well I think having a wedding, planning it for over a year investing so much time and money is not really worth it. But anyway, I kept my mouth shut about it.

So really i was mostly just sitting there not saying anything and somewhat failing to look as if I was listening attentively.

Hopefully the actual wedding is going to be better. But apparently I need a dress, and shoes, and a matching handbag. Wearing a dress makes me extremely uncomfortable.. and I really don't see any point at all paying a lot of money for something I hate. I also tried talking myself out of this dresscode thing but anyway, the bride was insisting.

Well I have no fashion sense whatsoever, I might just go out and buy myself a dress without any outside advise... Ionly have a week to find something after all..

Here in the States, it's called a "Girls' Night Out" or a "Bachelorette Party".

In the USA it is a bachlorette party. In parts of England it is a hen's night. A girls night out is a bunch off girls going out without guys to eat and/or drink and gossip.

I had to host a bachlorette party. I was the only single girl. There is lots of talk of weddings and gossip and what not because on of the girls is about to get married. Not imagine being in the wedding party and undergoing such conversations over the month leading up to the wedding. It could have been worse.

I am sorry you had a bad time. The wedding is generally much better as is the reception.

Sounds to me like you would have had more fun at "guy's night."

When my daughters friend got married they all dressed up in evening gowns and took her to a gay bar in limo's. I think there might have been a drag show too.

My opinion is that they were trying to get you out of your shell.

You seem to be a lot like a turtle, where when something is not to your liking, you retreat back into your shell, waiting for the ruckus to end so you can come back out and go back to the way you were before it all started.

You got it real bad!

The bottom line is - no matter how nice or how mean they were to you - they thought enough of you to include you into their event and for that you should be grateful.

Send them a thank you card - at least and do be so negative.

Buy the damn dress and do the gig as if it didn't bother you.
life is too short to nit pick each and every event.
In the grand scheme of things - what will it matter in 100 years?

Lighten up.

The bottom line is GOD made you a woman and you need to use your plumbing - else you are going to have problems with it down the road. I have seen it many times before.
This is a natural thing - like turning a page in a book.
People are born, they grow up, graduate from school, get a job, find someone, get married, have a couple of kids, grow old together and die. That is all that there is. If you skip a page, you can't go back and do it again. You get one chance to do it right.

These people obviously have their act together and you don't.
Some day you are going to end up by yourself - alone / old / sick and then you will either wish that you were dead or that you had someone to take care of you. All of the money that you earn will some day go towards taking care of you when you get old. When your friends / siblings puts you in a home, it isn't going to matter if you have $100,460 or $100,000 - because you bought some dress and shoes and purse 30 years prior.

Just be glad that someone thought enough of you to invite you.

I completely agree with you and would recommend you to search for second hand shops or factory outlets. Did so with my bride dress. XD About shoes and handbag, if you go for not so special colours, like black or brown you can use the shoes and the handbag again and again and again. So I also only have a pair of black pumps and one pair of brown boots with heels (For cold and snowy weather.), since years. They were until now completely sufficient.

In 100 years the only thing that will matter will be the time you were happy. Forced to go to work to earn money to use it to being forced to go into horrible shops, to do something you dislike to be "good looking" for an event you dislike, will matter, because its time you could have spent with being happy, but you wasted it with social expectations. Sure, it would be great if you could be happy about such events. The thing is that you are forced to do things that make you unhappy, to buy stuff the stuff you need and then you sit there, and cant do anything but listen to others or thinking about what you could say, that doesnt interest you, but would fit into the social situation to be polite. Its simply wasted time. Believe me, I´d love to if these gatherings werent so boring for me, and were instead interesting, but you cant change it.

So I could invite you to my home, when we do Lan-party, and then you can listen to us for hours about nerdy computer games. If you are not happy with it, its only because "you do not want to be happy" ^^, because according to you, you should be able to decide on your own, that the topic suddenly interests you.


There are so many of them, could you be a bit more specific?

Not everyone wants sex or to get married and have kids if that's what you mean by "use your plumbing". I'm never getting married or having kids. The op doesn't want kids either.

I hate these so called parties, they are only for others entertainment and humiliation that is all in the name of "fun". I am never ever going to allow it to happen to me again.

If they don't like you and make you do things you don't like, then why do you care about them? I don't see why you should let anyone, "make" you do anything that you don't want to do.