Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

17 Apr 2013, 1:20 am

I don't know if anyone else can relate to this, but lately I've been basically trying this tactic. Basically, so I can be quiet and not be "freaky." Like I'm my same usual self in conversation, but in body language, I try to have more arrogant body language. Basically, the best way to describe it is like, what some guys call "the b***h shield" but only applied to a guy, if that makes any sense. Like many girls you talk to that have the unapproachable "b***h shield" type demeanor can be quite nice and friendly, but it's an act to be left alone.

I don't know, anyone else relate at all? It kinda sucks, cuz the actual me would like to just talk to everyone about my special interests forever, and I'm actually quite outgoing, but I realized because of my awkwardness/eccentricity people don't like me. So then I don't talk to people, and come across as "creepy" or whatever. So I guess a male b***h shield of arrogance is a better image? "Oh, that arrogant prick who never talks to anyone." vs "creepy." Or worse, being memorable for being myself and telling everyone how much I love Japanese pop or something and having them not care and then talk behind my back how weird I am.

Thoughts?



TheValk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 645

17 Apr 2013, 2:17 am

You can play many games and put on many masks, and I think this might not be the best one.



Vectorspace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 903
Location: Germany

17 Apr 2013, 7:40 am

I wouldn't recommend it either (though I can't really image "male arrogant body language").

In fact, I used this tactic myself from, say, age 10 to 20, and it was really hard to get rid of the arrogance. Probably, I still appear a bit arrogant, but that's not intended any more. Sometimes, even the wrong kind of greeting or the wrong tone of language can be regarded as arrogance, so I think I appear arrogant enough.



Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

17 Apr 2013, 8:40 am

I've used this tack before. In fact, I still have some of the leftover residue effects of being a prick. I'm sure many people on here don't like me anymore, although I was never particularly interested in being popular in the first place. The best shield I used was to acknowledge to myself that I don't fit in, so I stopped trying to fit in, and strangely enough, I started to fit in. Trying to be something I'm not didn't work for me, and I don't think it will work for you either.



KingofAces
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 32

18 Apr 2013, 8:29 pm

For body language think Bruce Wayne or Kaiba (Yugioh) or Dean Winchester (Supernatural) or House (in some instances).

I use it a lot so people won't bother me.



KingofAces
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 32

18 Apr 2013, 8:31 pm

Even better, watch Sam Winchester being possessed by Lucifer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zqO5yDd8S0

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MyDBKAJBhQ



aligerous
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 47

19 Apr 2013, 1:10 am

I think this is a common tactic, especially for children and stereotypical nerds. I remember in elementary school justifying being bullied everyday by imagining how much smarter I was than everyone else. As a teen I joined a variety of counter cultures and I only listened to obscure music because I looked down on anything popular. It was only later that I realized this was just another version of viewing things as "common" and so I forced myself to get over my elitist attitude.

"Aloof" might be the image you are describing, which is a bit nicer than arrogant, but still maybe not the one that will make you the happiest. I tried "bored and indifferent" for a while and people seemed to respond well to that. Currently I'm attempting to simply be myself, but talk less around those that will think I'm weird, but it's hard for me since I apparently have no filter at all.

One thing I found was that appearance trumps social skills, at least for females. If I looked good it really didn't matter what I said, people would actually seem to be making an effort to impress me. It was really weird. I think dressing well and looking confident would work well for a man as well though. People tend to view attractive people as superior, which is silly, but it does lower the social expectations.

The other thing that helped me was to make a check list of things to say and rules for social interactions. I would then do my best to apply these, and it made me a little less awkward. Most people like to talk about themselves, so if you can encourage that, they'll remember you positively. They also tend to like it when people are pleased to see them, but not pushy, because most people are insecure but have just learned not to show it. At least that's what I understand from reading books on how to talk to people, lol.

Of course, if you don't want to socialize and just wish to remain detached, there's nothing wrong with that at all.



aligerous
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 47

19 Apr 2013, 1:31 am

KingofAces wrote:
Even better, watch Sam Winchester being possessed by Lucifer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zqO5yDd8S0

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MyDBKAJBhQ


Dean, especially, is all shield. Probably one of the best parts of the character though is when the cracks become visible. Although in the early days it was so refreshing when Sam would be whiny and Dean would be like "You done?" and then they'd go smash monsters.

But despite my dislike for later story arcs, my favorite characters were always Castiel and Ruby, both of which had no social skills whatsoever.



minervx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155
Location: United States

19 Apr 2013, 5:48 am

Arrogance most of the time is based on some insecurity and really isn't necessary for a social interaction, but some people who are arrogant have enough good to outweigh their bad traits. Or some people become arrogant because they know they can get away with it for one reason or another.