How to ask some one to hang out with you out side of school?

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HateSongForBrains
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28 Dec 2013, 2:43 am

Hey every one! So last month I started going to a really cool school and I have a friend there and I really like them but I'm not sure how exactly to go about asking them to hang out with me when we are not in school. I know some people will just say "walk up to them and say wanna hang out." but that really is not helpful at all, so if you could just not say that that'd be super.

Thanks in advance you guys!



hurtloam
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28 Dec 2013, 6:48 am

What about asking your friend to do something specific like go and see a movie or go and grab a burger.



musician_enigma
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28 Dec 2013, 8:25 am

Minus the "just walk up to part" lol, during a light conversation (ugh, small talk) I'd change the topic by saying something like, "man, I've got nothin to do after school. If you're free, you wanna hangout?"

I've never done that before because I never initiate turning aquaintances into possible friends... but it would be easy if I desired to. My advice for you (things I also tell myself): Don't worry, overthink, overanalyze, or whatever. Keep it simple, allow yourself to be direct if needed but don't force the social interaction if you're uncomfortable. Relax. :)

That's why I adamantly omit the "just walk up to part" as I know damn well that would be a possible disaster/failed socialization on my part (ie: crushing awkward pause instead of me changing the topic, due to nervousness or trying to prevent any sensory overload). To reiterate, I would never just walk up to someone to start a conversation as that significantly increases the difficultly. :lol:

In case of emergency, a well placed introspective "hmmm..." plus the rubbing of my chin to disarm the awkwardness, giving myself a chance to relax then continue socialization. Disaster/fail would be me mentally retreating, completely, (specifically to deal with nervousness or sensory overload), thus allowing the conversation to fade... unless they continue talking to me, which I may then recover. :lol:

Thankfully not too many people look into that or take it personal (as it is never clear what's going on in my head from their perspective).



NTGuyBR
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28 Dec 2013, 8:25 am

hurtloam wrote:
What about asking your friend to do something specific like go and see a movie or go and grab a burger.


I accept hurtloam. If he likes movies too, you see a movie in theaters and try to say "This film premiered this week, I'm wanting to go see, and you?" If he says yes, say "Fine, how about combining in go together"



HateSongForBrains
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31 Dec 2013, 2:53 am

hurtloam wrote:
What about asking your friend to do something specific like go and see a movie or go and grab a burger.


Thanks that's a good idea! I might ask them to go see the Hobbit with me once we get back to school :)



KingofKaboom
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31 Dec 2013, 11:58 am

I'd really say do you LIKE them or just like them as a friend? Talk about common interests, maybe they like video games or basketball. Ask them if they wanna play a new game you got or go somewhere to watch a sporting event. I find with friends it's better to do it in a group and just relax doing something you enjoy.


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em_tsuj
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01 Jan 2014, 5:06 pm

I agree. Suggest some activity you both enjoy. If the person can't do it at the time you suggest, don't take it personal. There will be other opportunities. Perhaps that person will ask you to hang out at some future point in time.