Extreme dislike of being helped with everyday things

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I was curious if anyone else here had a pet peeve with being helped with anything or people assuming they should do things for you especially when you don't request it.

This regardless of whether they mean well or think that you are incapable of doing things yourself.
How do you interpret these things and do you find yourselves angry or insulted like I often times do? I don't like feeling negative about it but sometimes these feelings are hard to avoid or inescapable. I know that some of my family members help as they feel like I'm not working on stuff fast enough. Then when I confront them calmly about it they go about insulting my process or seem to insinuate that I am not doing things as they'd like.

Having these angry feelings brings me awfully close to shutdown and makes me infuriated as well. I take pride and great enjoyment in doing things in my own way and in my own time and nothing suffers for it in the long run. I simply wish I could live by my own standard instead of others imposing theirs upon me as it is more of a bane and an enraging process when they do these things.

Yep, hate it, especially if it conflicts with my OCD.
People also don't realise I need to have done something myself to "know" it is done correctly otherwise I will be for hours going over in my mind how they might have done something wrong and what such a wrong might be and what its possible consequences will be.

From ur post i assume ur still living at home?

my advice is to grow up fast, i know it may be hard, but before you take a stance(especially to ur mother) it wont stop(i hated it too).
It's because of lack of respect, and it wont change before you grow a spine, and when u do, depending on how the relationship is, it could hurt ur relationship, or not.

but still, it's not them helping you, or them trying to be generous, its that they have no respect or confidence in you, so ofc you get angry about it, ur not stupid, you get the underlying vibe.

I'm sorry if it seems cold or anything, i'm just very bitter over my family, but ur not alone

I keep telling my husband to let our autistic daughter put on her own seatbelt, but he says he likes doing things for her. When he drives, she waits for him to put on her seatbelt. When I drive, she does it herself.

I generally don't like help with things that I should be able to do myself. There are exceptions -- I don't object when someone wants to make me a pecan pie.

I'm not sure. I think I'd need you to post some concrete examples before I commented as to whether I thought you or they or nobody was acting reasonably.

Kudos to you. Seriously. My mum works as a nanny for some autistic kids, and many parents are amazed at what they'll do for her, but not for them. Like getting dressed or eating with a knife and fork or following rules etc. I think everyone, spectrum or not, steps up when there's reasonable expectation there to be lived up to.

Yeah, I hate it. I didn't understand it at first. I thought people assumed that I couldn't do things for myself. Then I read some article about the different ways people show love and caring. It said that some people prefer to express these things by doing things for other people. That doesn't make much more sense. Helping the ones you care for when they ask; that makes sense. Doing stuff they didn't ask for, that's easy enough for them to do for themselves? Makes no sense. How would they know how the other person wants it done? Don't they ever consider that people like doing things themselves? It's like buying a gift when you have only a vague idea of what the recipient might want: very likely to backfire.