Do people insist that you think,feel,intend things you don't

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Moondust
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,558

14 Jun 2013, 3:17 pm

S-P-M-E wrote:
Still, as Dr. Phil would say, the thing these situations all have in common is ME


First of all, this is a cliche (i.e. a widespread lie). The thing all these situations have in common, in reality, is HUMAN RELATIONS. It is both something that you are doing, and something that the other person is doing. The fact that "the other" is several people doesn't mean that they don't influence the interaction.
i
Secondly, to answer the question in your OP in as few words as possible: it took me many years of observation and analysis and research to figure out this one. We aspies tend to try hard and compensate for our relational weaknesses and end up being what, for normal people, is "too good to be true" a friend. When something is "too good to be true", it causes 2 reactions in people, generally:

1. Distrust ("If it's too good to be true, then it probably is" they figure)
2. Envy (rather than gratitude), and therefore an irrational urge to destroy that which is better than one could ever be

It's as simple as that. And it's as simple to avoid this ever happening to you again. Do.Not.Compensate. It doesn't work, and as you see, it backfires.


_________________
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer


Moondust
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,558

14 Jun 2013, 3:17 pm

deleted, internet hiccup, double post


_________________
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer


Last edited by Moondust on 14 Jun 2013, 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Moondust
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,558

14 Jun 2013, 3:29 pm

I forgot to say the most important I meant to say:

What you describe has happened to me massively and is, in my belief, the worst and most dangerous aspect of Asperger's. It's the main cause aspies can end up libeled beyond repair, often scapegoated and driven out of their jobs and careers by said libel / badmouthing / invention of horrible (non-existent) crimes.

Why?

Because NTs know instinctively to tiptoe around the most basic of human emotions (in this case, we're talking about distrust and envy). We, without that intuition, are like a bull in a china store and therefore crash into these basic, most destructive of human urges.


_________________
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer


aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,287
Location: Canada

14 Jun 2013, 10:59 pm

Moondust wrote:
I forgot to say the most important I meant to say:

What you describe has happened to me massively and is, in my belief, the worst and most dangerous aspect of Asperger's. It's the main cause aspies can end up libeled beyond repair, often scapegoated and driven out of their jobs and careers by said libel / badmouthing / invention of horrible (non-existent) crimes.

Why?

Because NTs know instinctively to tiptoe around the most basic of human emotions (in this case, we're talking about distrust and envy). We, without that intuition, are like a bull in a china store and therefore crash into these basic, most destructive of human urges.


It's all simple... the dishonest person wants their way to the top of the chain and they see a weakness within the good hardworking soul of an Aspie. So it's only right that our weakness is exploited for others to get what they feel they want and didn't earn and they have no regrets over doing so. We are also left feeling cheated and wondering what we did wrong and wrongfully so. Then when the person begs forgiveness when they develop a conscience for it, they get rejected. Then we get accused of some crime. Does this sound close to what you are saying?



Moondust
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,558

15 Jun 2013, 2:03 am

Nope.... I think we're talking about different social issues...


_________________
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer