Taking a break

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Hi:
I recently wrote a post about a girl who had a panic attack at an amusement park a few days ago.

She called me back yesterday afternoon and apologized while accepting my apologies. She then made it clear that she would still want to be my friend but did not want to talk me for a while due to breaching trust with her.

Long story short: She basically got angry with my friends and I for not taking her panic attacks seriously while at the amusement park. It was during the phone call that she said that you can pass out from a panic attack and an ambulance would have to be called. She also felt like we kept making her go, go, go and that we did not listen to her while not taking her seriously. She said that she has trouble walking because she is over weight and could not keep up with us.

I did accept her apologies while agreeing that it was not a good idea for us to interact or communicate for a while. I then mentioned that she might look at taking a break from associating with our other friends due to the majority of them also feeling uncomfortable around her. (Mainly because she had seemed to start trouble whenever we got together in small group gatherings. This is not even counting that panic attack).

Ouch, hearing that your friends feel uncomfortable around you can't feel nice. It's good you're honest though, especially with people on the spectrum honesty can mean a whole lot. If anything, it makes you more trustworthy. I hope she doesn't feel too awful over this.

Good thing you were honest. This is not-so-charming behavior to say the least. You guys are no psychologist or psychiatrist so dealing with her panic attack isn't something you should just know how to do. If you pay attention to her panic attacks and try to make it easier that isn't something she should take for granted as it's quite an effort from your side.

She could've said beforehand what happens when she has an attack and if and how you can make it a bit easier for her. The ambulance thing sounds overdramatic. Might be wrong here but she sounds with this like someone who's into drama and attention, or is overly concerned for her health.

Her tone is very demanding from what I've read. A step back is good indeed.

Yes, she does has a problem of creating drama for herself and it seems to happen just about every time too.

For instance, before we went to the park, she came over while waiting for our ride. I was still in my pajamas when I answered the door as I was just getting up and getting ready to take a shower. So I took the shower and happened to come out into my living room with a towel wrapped around me. She seemed fine when I interacted with her while not saying anything either. So I assumed that it was fine.

After another friend took her to the front gate to get picked up, she told him that I flashed her in her own home. She also had mentioned that she would press charges against me the next time too.

Anyhow:

I even mentioned that she should have been upfront with us in the first place and not be unpredictable like that as we since not know what to do. My friends thought she was overreacting.

Her response was, "I know but you need to take it seriously next time."

Anyway, she tried to call me today to see if I still wanted to do a mini vacation with her and her mother next month. I simply said,
"Hey, I think it would be best if you did not call me right now. I also don't think I would like to go."

I just don't want to be around her if she is going to make a scene like that and accuse people of things that are not likely to be true.

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 20 Jun 2013, 8:33 am, edited 2 times in total.

Well that certainly sheds more light on the subject. Sounds like you handled it pretty well after all.

Trust me, this was not an easy choice for me to make since I love this girl to death and was looking forward to going on vacation with them too.

If, however, she is going to find tiny things with wrong with me like the towel situation, I just don't need that.

For starters, she is 30 years old but seems to function at the level of an 11-12 year old most of the time. When she was throws one of her tantrums, she acts even younger like about 6.

While I am respectful, there are times when you just need to back away.