Joined: 26 Feb 2013 Age: 34 Gender: Male Posts: 33
04 Jul 2013, 1:05 am
I believe this is the key factor that most people with AS get wrong. I learnt this over the years and it has really worked. I can say i have a lot of friends and acquaintances (Male & Female) and i keep an interest on there whereabouts and lifegoings. Just thought i would start giving more advice.
Joined: 13 Jun 2013 Age: 36 Gender: Male Posts: 96
08 Jul 2013, 8:38 am
I only talk to the people who will interest me in conversation. If the people won't or don't interest me then I'm not going to talk as much to try and end the conversation faster.
Joined: 7 Dec 2008 Age: 49 Gender: Female Posts: 27,019
08 Jul 2013, 9:24 am
Doesn't work for me. I have almost never anything to say so I seldom do anything but listen.
I know that there is to be a rhythm in the interaction but that doesn't help when I have nothing to contribute. I can't sing the songwhen I don't have any lyrics
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Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 29
08 Jul 2013, 11:49 am
I believe the key is to be interested and keep the interest, rather than how much you talk. I don't talk at all in some situations and very little in most. I don't have friends, just coworkers etc. Except for the nt's that are actively keeping in touch with me (by asking once a year how I'm doing ). Not that I'm an expert on the subject
Joined: 30 Jan 2013 Age: 44 Gender: Male Posts: 89 Location: Worthing
08 Jul 2013, 2:45 pm
If you think about it, most of us enjoy the talking and getting out whatever we want to say than listening to someone else's story. People seeking help are often actually seeking an audience (of 1 or more) primarily and a listening ear, more than someone's long-winded answer and advice.
So yes listen more than you speak, and don't speak until the other person has finished their sentence.
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Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 29
08 Jul 2013, 3:20 pm
I agree strongly on the help seeking part. I have made a lot of people frustrated and pissed off just because I thought they actually wanted help when they asked for it What they really wanted was someone to lean on to. Giving "good advises" somehow ends the situation, where the person wanted to dwell in. Thanks to my latest acquaintance I found out about this. He spelled it out for me when he saw that I didn't genuinely understand the situation
But what comes to interrupting sentences, there is more to it. I have a very hard time interrupting people and that causes me to be quiet in group situations. Or when I "talk" to a very chatty person. So interrupting is sometimes required, but it has to be done carefully in a convenient spot. What that is, I don't know. I was just talking about this with my therapist