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Ronfocus
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

06 Jul 2016, 9:19 am

So a couple of months past I posted here for my first time asking about my friend that has Asperger's. Here is a link to the old post.

viewtopic.php?t=316575

So after I took advice from here I contacted her and told her about his condition and how he is obsessed with her. She said that she is friends with him and will talk to him.

Thing is he wants more than just a friendship with her and has made her the center of his life at the cost of all of the other relationships he already had in his life. He went for a month with out talking to me then finally he starts talking to me and his old friends again

He told me that he doesn't think she cares and he loves her and would do anything for her. So it seemed like whenever him and her would get into fights with eachother and she wouldn't talk to him he would resort to his old friends.

Once she started talking to him again he would drop all of us like a bad habit. So the whole time she has been messaging me about him. He gave her my snap chat. She told me a lot about what was going on

She told me this he's never going to amount to her friends and she has to lie to him because when he finds out that she goes and does something with her other friends he freaks out of he's not invited. So last week she stopped talking to him for a few days and of course he started talking to me again. And everything was good again with us.

Then Thursday she contacted him and again he turned on all his old friends. He told me straight up that he didn't want to be my friend anymore then brought up stuff that happened years ago when we were both still kids.

Now I know the real reason. He can't focus all his attention on her with his old friends in the way. Now that wouldn't be a problem but she doesn't want the attention from him. She told me this herself but she's too nice to tell him. He can't admit it to himself because of he did he would be acknowledging that she is taking him for a ride and he's been living in a fantasy land this whole time with her.

So in the messages she sent me she told me a bunch of stuff that would of hurt my friend if he knew what was going on if he knew that she was just using him and wasn't truly his friend. I told her that she needed to tell him before he got himself in to deep. She refused.

So last night he sent me a message asking me for something. I told him that I would like to talk to him some. He said ok. When we started talking he basically told me that I'm no longer a good friend and probably not even a friend to him anymore. All due to her.

So I got mad because I know the truth and sent him all the screen shots of what she said about him. Now I was taking to his older brother on PlayStation and after I hit send about 2 minutes later I hear him through the mic crying and cussing and screaming.

So his father pulled his brother out of the room and they all talked. Of course I was made out to be the bad guy. All i did was show him what she said. So of course I have been blamed over what she did. All because I told the truth in the matter.

So he did his normal blocking me on everything but this time I'm not going to try to fix anything with it. I can't stand the fact that his Asperger's makes it where he cannot see the people that care about him all over someone who can careless. And I proved that to him last night.

He will continue to live in his fantasy where he thinks he has a chance with her and loose everything he cares about because she is evil and is only using him to stroke her ego. Sorry for the long post and rant. I'm just hurting right now for friendship that has been lost.



Ronfocus
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

06 Jul 2016, 10:06 am

So I guess the question is what should I do. This has all really bothered me how we can go from bet friends to this. I mean right now I'm so upset with him that I don't even want to talk to him but what about when the girl he likes shows her true colors and hurts him. What if he tries talking to me again. I am tired of being hurt by him over all this.



Britte
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,136
Location: @

06 Jul 2016, 10:39 am

I cannot give much time to your inquiry, as I have to run, although, I'm sure other's will be replying to you, soon:

1. Move on from this relationship with your friend, but keep the door open to a future friendship with him, because he might realize over time how unhealthy he has been and want to change.

2. I have Asperger Syndrome and I can assure you that his behavior towards you is not associated with it. My friends and family are far too important to me and I care about them too much, to ever push them aside for anyone or anything else in my life. I would not be a good friend if I were to do that.

You are far too valuable to allow yourself to be treated in the way that your friend has treated you. Friends can change and grow and become better friends as they evolve throughout their lives. I hope this goes for your friend at some point. I would move on, until you see evidence of this occurring. Sorry that I cannot be more detailed within my response. Best wishes to you.



Ronfocus
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

06 Jul 2016, 12:27 pm

So an update to this. He messaged me about an hour ago and said I hope you are happy because I am ruining things between him and his friends. I told him I'm not happy and all I did was show him what she has been saying about him. He's still in denial over all this and she is still lying to him. She is at a water park today because it's her birthday and didn't invite him. He asked me when she sent a message that I showed him and I told him last night around 9:30 or so. In that message she told me that he isn't her friend. He then told me that things are changed with her basically over night. Yet she is still at that water park without him. He is so blind to her and she is too much of a snake to tell him the truth.