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My5Senses
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11 Aug 2013, 12:12 am

Clinically diagnosed Asperger's and SPD here.

So baffled, and hoping some may shed light, based on what they know.

Person A, shares something with person B.
Person B gives feedback.
Person A ignores the feedback.

Question is: So why did person A share then??? 8O

Are they really this stupid!! ! I want to tell all persons who interacted with me. DO NOT share anything with me, if you are not expecting feedback. I am NOT your thoughts and feelings dumping ground. NO THING makes me angrier than this!! !! !



MjrMajorMajor
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11 Aug 2013, 1:26 am

Sometimes people just want you to listen, without providing feedback. I've had a hard time with this myself, but many people aren't looking for feedback or constructive criticism at all. They just want a "I hear ya, man." or some statement that supports what they've been talking about.



auntblabby
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11 Aug 2013, 1:48 am

part of being willing to entertain another person's viewpoint is to just listen without judging.



Harrison54
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11 Aug 2013, 2:04 am

auntblabby wrote:
part of being willing to entertain another person's viewpoint is to just listen without judging.


Agreed, most times I prefer it if I am just expected to listen without having an opinion. As a trainer I guess 70% of what is said to me is not relevant to the task at hand, so I let it slide on by and focus on what is needed. My trainees seem to like it as their feedback to my boss has kept me in the job :)


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icyfire4w5
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11 Aug 2013, 2:15 am

Um, if Person B's feedback is some variant of "you must change certain aspects of your personality so as to develop into a better person", Person A might ignore such feedback because he/she believes that these aspects can't be changed.



My5Senses
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11 Aug 2013, 9:48 am

Well, I appreciate the input from you all.

About what MjrMajorMajor said - See, that is it. I can't tell the difference. I don't know if this is what they are seeking, or if it is an opinion they want. More food for thought for my therapist. I learnt in therapy about an interaction technique called 'Framing'. I always am mindful of framing, but I find others are not. I guess I'll have to start asking them, such as 'why are you telling me this?'.

About what Auntblabby said - I did a lot of work on 'judgeing' and 'judementalism' in therapy, and I don't judge, except on purpose, like when I said in my very first post, 'are they that stupid'. lol. That WAS a judgement. But in interactions I don't judge. I'm not sure what 'just listen' means, I have had a serious deficit in being listened to. I also choose, not to be a sole listener, but rather a listener and an outputter. I'm not willing to be a silent body, just taking in and taking in, and not putting out. This for me. is very dangerous.


About what Harrison54 said - I think you may be just sharing 'your perspective'. I am just acknowledging what you said. I kind of do the same thing, I like to share MY perspective, even if it is different to what the others say.

About what icyfire4w5 said - Interesting view. I am an 'idea's ' person. I do not discuss people, or behavior. I discuss thoughts and ideas only. So, if someone says something to me, I'm likely to interpret it from an 'idea' perspective. I have a feeling I am simply not finding the company of like minded people, in my real life interactions.


For me, I share because I am an idea's person. I like to discuss ideas, and I like to share inputs and outputs, equally. I don't like the, what I call, one way conversations/interactions. This is where it is all one way, rather than two ways (like a tennis match, ball back and forth). That is about it. I am very curious minded, and have an exploratory/curious mind. I am obviously not interacting with like minded people, in real life. I have just started to discuss interactions with my therapist, and soon we will be focusing on interaction/socialiazation work. But I am a long way off. I have had this void for 47 yrs. It's going to take a lot of work and brain twisting for me. Usually I avoid interactions, and do not have any friends in real life.


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auntblabby
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11 Aug 2013, 2:50 pm

^^^
you are now in the right place.