Reactions about death?

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So, i play a team sport. This in and of itself is challenging.
It is an adult league, and the community surrounding it is fairly close-knit.
One of the players from a neighboring league just died. I get the impression it was fairly sudden, because she was pretty young and
from what I know, not sick.
I have played against her, but I didn't really know her. everyone else seems to care so much, and I don't, really. I know that it is horrible and everything,
but I am emotionally blank about the situation.
Does anyone know why people in general tend to get upset by someone's death, even if they did not know the person and the death
does not personally affect them?

They say that some people on the spectrum have no empathy.

When it comes to me I have two different stories and don't know which is the truth.

1. I'm autistic so the death of anyone I know doesn't make me shed any tears at all.

2. I've been abused and bullied so much in life that I've become hardened and therefore not fazed by people and pets dying.

I get really upset when my pets die, and i understand getting upset when someone who is close to you dies.
Its the whole 'one step removed' thing. I don't get upset about people I don't spend a lot of time with. I understand
offering support to those it does affect, just not getting emotional yourself.

It doesn't make sense for you to be too sad, if you didn't even know her. People want to be sad, though, because it is what they were taught and it is a "sad situation". They are, in effect, picturing themselves or their friends as the girl, because the mutual activity (the team sport) helps them to make that connection.

My big brother told me that, what a genius of an NT.

Learn to cry on demand, that solves the problem of "not being sad enough". Cry when people you know are talking to you about a thing that happened to both of you and they start to cry, but to not appear physically hurt. It is really quite simple to do, but it is difficult to know when to do it.

NTs do that even if they don't really know the person because they're afraid of appearing cold and uncaring. Shared emotions are also a method of bonding; so when opportunity arises, everyone wants in. In other words: I'd suspect that most of them aren't really upset, they're merely acting (and thereby talking/acting themselves into being upset). It's the same with tragedies you see on TV - it's something to emotionally bond over.
Don't mention that to anyone though, they will be terribly offended and deny it all.

I can relate to that in a way. When my grandpa died I didn't really care. He was a good guy and everything but it didn't personally affect me. When my mom died I was in hell for about a week, followed by a week of acceptance then I was like, eh, whatever. Amazing because we were so close when she was alive and I always imagined my life going to hell without her. But now I can laugh about it. I mean she died here, in this house, the house had someone die in it. Considering it was built in 1997, that's not bad. Usually it's older houses. So at least I can tell people we might....possibly have a ghost.

Yes, I relate to this, lots.

Ive developed that many layers to protect my own heart and mind. Some, Ive discovered, are there, as a result of having AS; some ive developed.

Until recent years, I never really understood such deep sorrow, regarding losses mentioned by others; it just didnt register with me, in the same way as I saw in those around me.

Thing is, I can feel emotions, deeply; just never when its expected of me.

People are different. Some care even if they don't know the person well, other need to care about them to care.

I wouldn't feel anything if I didn't have feelings for someone either. But I am devastated by the deaths of people or pets I love. It takes me a very long time to move on past the grief, and even so I can suddenly feel a pang of sadness and cry about them many. many years later.

When I care, I care with everything I've got. When I don't care, I'm entirely indifferent.