03 Aug 2013, 7:49 pm
I have fallen into a small conundrum lately: whether or not to tell my friends that I'm an Aspie. It's always been relatively easy for me to tell others that I have OCD and ADHD (whether they actually believe me or not is another story, considering how much society has abused those two terms 
), but I have never told anyone other than my therapist, psychiatrist, and parents that I have Asperger's.
Recently--I'd say around April or May?--my therapist suggested that I should tell the closer of my friends that I have Asperger's, as this would (theoretically) make things easier on me. However, my mother insists that I do not tell anyone that I have this condition.
What should I do? 
LoverOfDragons
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03 Aug 2013, 7:57 pm
03 Aug 2013, 8:39 pm
I follow a strict "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" protocol when dealing with people in person with regards to Philosophies, Politics, Religions, Sexualities, and Emotional / Mental Issues.
I made the mistake of submitting a term paper on "Voodoo and Similar Belief Systems" in my sophomore year of high school English class.
It's now 40 years later, and former classmates have asked if I still stick pins in dolls.
"No", I say. "It's much easier to summon a hungry demon."
LoverOfDragons
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Joined: 30 Jun 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Female
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Location: Grand Junction, Colorado
03 Aug 2013, 8:49 pm
I made the mistake of submitting a term paper on "Voodoo and Similar Belief Systems" in my sophomore year of high school English class.
It's now 40 years later, and former classmates have asked if I still stick pins in dolls.
"No", I say. "It's much easier to summon a hungry demon."Please don't get offended by this, but voodoo is a completely different subject. I have nothing against voodoo though I have no beliefs of it, but voodoo is more frowned upon than autism. In the case of our friend here, it is a good idea to have them tell their friends that they are an aspie.
03 Aug 2013, 8:55 pm
"No", I say. "It's much easier to summon a hungry demon."I am not saying that ASDs and superstitious nonsense are related; I'm using a past experience to illustrate why it is not always a good idea to self-disclosed (e.g., "Come Out"). While the choice is ultimately up to the individual, it is not a choice that I would make.
What they don't know, they can not use against me.
LoverOfDragons
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Joined: 30 Jun 2013
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03 Aug 2013, 8:58 pm
"No", I say. "It's much easier to summon a hungry demon."I am not saying that ASDs and superstitious nonsense are related; I'm using a past experience to illustrate why it is not always a good idea to self-disclosed (e.g., "Come Out"). While the choice is ultimately up to the individual, it is not a choice that I would make.
What they don't know, they can not use against me.
True. But still, if they show special quirks that leave their friends questioning why, then it would be a good reason for our friend to tell them. And really, friends should be accepting whether one has aspergers or not. That's just how I view friendship, I suppose.
03 Aug 2013, 9:00 pm
03 Aug 2013, 9:05 pm
"Should"?
Good one!
Friends will accept you only for as long as they find you acceptable. Give them sufficient cause, and even the closest of friends will turn on you, if only to show that they are part of the "in crowd" that may already be against you.
I'm in my late fifties. My days of self-disclosure are over (since 1990), and I have a lot more friends now than I did in my thirties.
LoverOfDragons
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Joined: 30 Jun 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Female
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03 Aug 2013, 9:05 pm
LoverOfDragons
Sea Gull
Joined: 30 Jun 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 203
Location: Grand Junction, Colorado
03 Aug 2013, 9:07 pm
Sorry, I probably should have said "true friends" to go with the sentence that says "should" 
03 Aug 2013, 9:08 pm
Good luck with that. It's a personal choice, but one that I will not make ... ever again ...
03 Aug 2013, 9:36 pm
I don't really care who knows or doesn't know. I told most of my friends when first diagnosed, but they don't really get it - they have always known that I was odd, but Autism is just a big mystery word that everybody has heard, but few people understand. I do not attempt to explain 'Asperger Syndrome' to anyone, I call it "a form of Autism" (according to the new DSM, that's all it is).
At this point, if someone asks why I rock and sway all the time, I'll tell them - if they don't ask, well, I don't start conversations with people who haven't spoken to me first, so that situation rarely comes up.
There are instances in which I feel it is important that people understand that I have a disability and cut me some slack for it, whether they understand what that disability is and why its a problem or not. I have been run over and pushed around by insensitive bullies my life entire and now that I have an official diagnosis, I by-god will not stand for it. If that means playing the legal disability card, so be it. 
03 Aug 2013, 11:21 pm
04 Aug 2013, 1:14 am
), but I have never told anyone other than my therapist, psychiatrist, and parents that I have Asperger's. Recently--I'd say around April or May?--my therapist suggested that I should tell the closer of my friends that I have Asperger's, as this would (theoretically) make things easier on me. However, my mother insists that I do not tell anyone that I have this condition.
What should I do?
I'd say judge it by how your friends took the news of your OCD & ADHD.
If you feel they took you seriously, made an effort to understand and still show you respect after that, then by all means tell them.
As for the others, well I wouldn't tell them, but if it was me, I probably would have killed the friendship off anyway if I felt I wasn't being taken seriously, or if I felt they were not making a genuine effort to understand.
Better to have a few close caring friends, than share your secrets and allow your so called friends to snigger behind your back.
04 Aug 2013, 1:26 am
04 Aug 2013, 1:49 am
I made the mistake of submitting a term paper on "Voodoo and Similar Belief Systems" in my sophomore year of high school English class.
It's now 40 years later, and former classmates have asked if I still stick pins in dolls.
"No", I say. "It's much easier to summon a hungry demon."I go by the same don't ask don't tell protocol. It has served me well these past few years friend wise and job wise.
