How to confront flaky people- An update

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Hi:
As some of you, I have been led around around by someone who keeps promising to work on a special project with me once a week. We recently both discussed that we would meet every Wednesday at noon downtown in a major city. Well the last three times he has told me at the last minute, "I have to go out of town, let's meet next week." Well next week rolls around and he says, "I am out of town sorry. We'll do it next week I promise."

The worst part is that I have to do all the chasing around to confirm everything.

I finally called him on the carpet by the third time when he had sent me a text message. I said that it was ridiculous and that I am sick of this. He then said, "Oh I would love to do what I want but I have burdens to take care of. " He has also promised to work on another project that we worked on for a major sci fi convention and have it up. He never did it. So I said, "Where is the other project that you promised to have ready?"

He did manage to write to me on Facebook by mentioning again that although he promised me and that he can't due to having major financial problems and that he needed to take care of those issues first. "I would like to do what I want but I can't." Then he said that his computer is broken and needs to have it fixed before he can do the other project. He said that I had a right to be mad but not to lash out at him because of the financial stress.

I told him that I understand but that but that he needed to have been up front with me front with me and not say things that felt good at the time. I also mentioned that he did not seem to think about my feelings at all.

I finally said that I would commit to doing the project on my own once I bought all the supplies for super cheap. I then said "When you are ready to be reliable again, let me know."

As a result, I am very very angry with him for pulling this on me and I feel like he is being very selfish. Then again I could be wrong. Do you think he is lying to me about the finances or is he really under lots of stress.

This fellow is exercising his option to cancel his commitments on you. I would be aware that you have the same right to refuse any further invitations, and do so.

Whether his reasons are legitimate or not, he is not reliable right now and may not be for a very long time. I would look elsewhere to find someone to work with on your project. If and when he is ever available in the future, I would exert extreme caution in utilizing his services. If he got himself into such a mess (and still cannot mange his life), then I'd say wait until he learns how to manage his life better overall, because he will simply hold you hostage to his insanity until he works out and fixes the reasons he got himself into such a mess to begin with, because he is likely to repeat the same mistakes again (maybe next time with you). That entire process could take a lifetime. I wouldn't wait, no way.

Again I have simply decided to take him as a grain of salt. The only problem that I have left is that we worked on this project together at that sci fi convention and he has some of the material and I have some of the material. So again, I am going to work on this stuff myself.

What I don't understand is why he made a promise to meet me once a week and pull this.

Maybe he wanted to sound self-important and be validated in your/someone's eyes.

I can't know why he would do that, but it is obvious he can't live up to his promises. I have found there are lots of people like that, and I've also been mystified as to what makes them tick. It makes no sense to verbalize something that you can't uphold in actions, so why bother using the extra air? Some people just go about life thinking everyone does that and so it makes it OK for them to do it too, I guess. A friend once told me never to believe anyone ever says, because many people Talk but not many people Do. Until the deal is done, it is not a deal. Sucks, but it has proven to be true in so many cases. I hate to say I've become quite cynical because of it, but there are times when I do let down my guard, I just get the same slap in the face. Think I'd learn my lesson after all these years? Nah.... not all the time...

What bothers me the most is the fact that he did not even bother to think about my feelings at all and then wonders why I am lashing out like this. LOL.


Hello, why do you think I am lashing out you mute donkey? Because you are being a selfish big time jerk that's why!

Being on the receiving end of someone making agreements and then not following through annoys just about everybody on the planet.
As proof: there are stacks of laws about it.
Whether yours fits a law or not isn't the point, everybody hates it so much is the point.

It is definitely "Not Cool."
The guy is a flake. Now you know.

Frustrating way to find out though.

What's so sad about this guy is that he has worked with several organizations for people on the Spectrum. Plus he and his daughter both have Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. I still felt like I was led around for no real reason and I thought I could trust him.