The best way to seek closure

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Just move on. Someone recently came back to do that. It doesn't matter if I tell him he is rude. He doesn't see himself like that and wouldn't remember what he said at this point. If I engage, he is going to give me denials or justifications that won't make him feel better in the end because my memory and feelings are not going to change. He can realize that the way I feel does not matter unless he allows it to.

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Best username in the world, that.

There's an old technique of writing a letter, then leaving it overnight. What's the first thing you want to do with it the next day? Send it, or burn it?

It all depends. It depends on the people you are dealing with, sometimes it's best to leave it and sometimes yes, dealing with it can help. But what's best for you isn't always best for everyone. And sometimes minds just become closed and hardened, regardless of what was meant or whose 'fault' it was.

The ones who are hard to knock are those who seem to like you one minute and then if you say and do something minor that they don't like, you get kicked.

I have had a few people pull this tactic on me before.

The ones who are hard to knock are those who seem to like you one minute and then if you say and do something minor that they don't like, you get kicked.

I have had a few people pull this tactic on me before.

You don't go into much detail about what actually happened, so i'll keep this pretty generic.

The first thing to take into account is if you've disclosed to them. If so, then remind them that you do not always understand how your words and actions are perceived by others and that you do not always get the unspoken social context of others actions. You may think that whatever was said or done was intentionally malicious, which I'm assuming it wasn't, else you shouldn't be trying to remain friends. Explain again (or for the first time) that social situations are a minefield for aspies and then you need to calmly and rationally explain how you interpreted what was said or done. Explain that however it was taken, you hope it was not meant that way. This puts the ball squarely in their court. If they either ignore you or respond rudely, then your interpretation was correct and there is nothing else to do. If they respond with a reasonable explanation, then its your decision as to whether to accept or reject.

If you haven't disclosed and do not feel comfortable doing so with these people, then I suggest you move on with your life and find those with whom you can do so. Without help and understanding from those around us, it is difficult for a lone aspie to navigate the nt world. I'm not saying this is right, and I certainly want things to be different, but the reality is that if we really want to live and love in their world, we have to accept that we do so by their rules.