Nonexistent social skills.
Giftorcurse
Veteran
Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina
In my nineteen years of existence, I have not gotten one inkling of support from my parents or anyone else in regards to building my social skills. I'm starting to get the vibe that my parents are simply along for the ride, that I was a mistake that they have to deal with. Sometimes, I feel that they seem bent on preventing me from having a normal social life.
_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.
Social skills can be taught. If you find no support in your environment, you'll have to pull through by an effort of will. Do you want things to change? Start taking small steps in the right direction.
Why not try reading this:
http://www.nazarenemedia.net/uploads/8/ ... nships.pdf
A good book from Temple Grandin, very accessible.
Some parents may not want their children to be successful socially because they may want to preserve their children's innocence, but most of the time it's purely ignorance rather than malice. Parent's may not see it as possible for them to help you, may see social skills as not important (when they in fact are almost as important as food and oxygen), may be way too busy with things going on in their life (like work) to have time to take an interest.
My parents have been the same way. I know some Aspies whose parents have taken a big role in practicing social skills and etiquette with them. Mine, no. I had to teach myself and learn the hard way. But I did learn.
My forefathers and parents are eccentric
They are sociopaths and many of them attempted suicide, lived secluded lives and are in asylums for serious mental issues
I remember once we were travelling via plane and the passengers sitting in front seat were talking continously
My brother remarked that too much talking is not good it takes away the spiritual powers of a person
But i knew in my mind its one of the psychological crap
Communication is so important in todays world
And without eloquence even obama wouldnt have won the presidential seat in debate
I keep a distance from my family
and i learned social skills the hard way by making lots of mistakes,
by being insulted, humiliated and pushed away by society
Many have fooled me and taken advantage of me right and left
i dread social situations now
_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET
Honestly, you shouldn't care about what your parents think. I'm sure they don't want you to be a failure by any means.
You can improve your social skills yourself by:
1) First, by gathering knowledge by reading lots of ASD resources, especially on social skills - and decided what specific skills you need to work on...then
2) Practice, practice, practice these skills, as much as possible in real-life situations. This is really important so you can develop both competence and confidence. Plus, you have to adjust them depending on the people you talk to and the situation you are in.
_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.
My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
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