I have really struggled with that throughout my life.
Online, I am more open - I love writing out thoughts, and I have some of what I might call "hobby friends" - people who share some interests I have.
What I don't have are friendships in the more traditional sense - that is, someone you hang out with, do stuff together in person, and the like.
I do have a fiance. I spend time with him whenever I can.
Beyond that, though, I literally hang out with no one, and I haven't for years. The last time I was invited to a social event was a couple of years ago when I was in student teaching, and a teaching group was nice enough to invite me to a couple of events. I still talk to a few of them online, but since then, nothing offline with them or anyone else - and before that, only a few times with different people. This is going back to when I was a pre-teen as well (I am now 28, soon to be 29 in less than a month!).
People say they have a hard time relating to me. I obsess, ruminate, and live in my head a lot, though I try to express my thoughts and opinions constantly. A lot of my interests are fairly "out there" as conversation starters (neuroscience, theology, philosophy, and so forth). I do like many sports, but that's not typical of women. I also love copying and sorting things, which is highly autistic and strange to people. Finally, I also love listening to music, but much of the music I like is very obscure.
Lastly, I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie, which means some of you might be in doubt as to whether or not I am a "true" Aspie or just some awkward person (I notice there is some conflict here on other threads when it comes to self-diagnosed Aspies, so I just thought I would state I am a self-diagnosed one for the record for those who believe that to be a critical issue).
I just really don't know how to keep up offline friendships. I wonder if I could try more. I wonder if maybe I'm okay the way I am, but I keep wondering that maybe I should be - I don't know - more balanced socially?
Just some thoughts. Wondering if I might glean something from the rest of you here. Post away.
10 Oct 2013, 3:49 am
